~~My Heart that Bleeds~~
 

givin care and respect// only select women give me shit i can deflect// open my eyes after nursin my girl who use to inject//
drugs in her vein// heroin got her slugz in her brain//
for thuggin insane, now i stay lovin tha cane//
while huggin my pain//
try not to slip into a dark depressive state//
my girls gone but its not fate,it couldnt be//
she promised she wouldnt leave//
and when she did i couldnt breath//
nor could i believe how much one person can grieve//
in my personalitys absence of leave//
plead for thee to stay with me and stop my heart that bleeds

uppin^^^^

Very nice! short and sweet. I think this is the first thing I read Of yours. And I liked it. Nice flow. Keep postin'!

peAce

thanks for the reply uppin^^^^

that shit was real i been dere with that all those feelings and imagery and times. women sometimes neva know love is real until u take ur life or somethang.they be inlove but not as deep as ni66a would like them to sho it.

1love man
peace

good stuff

i appreciate tha feed back, especially tha positive feed,people been sleepin on my shit since i got back on tha site,uppin for more replies,tell me what yall think^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

uppin ^^^^^^^^

i hate when cats sleep so i spread love, i have never lost no loved one like that, but i do have a loved one, an she almost went out like that, but she changed (thank god) but i can understand where ur heart is, but u gotta live for her now...good shyt!

givin care and respect// only select women give me shit i can deflect// open my eyes after nursin my girl who use to inject//

Nice Flow Through Basically The Whole Verse...Real Nice, I Enjoyed It

It was nice reading your stuff. You got to the point right away but with detail.

Yeah I Agree
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uppin for replies ^^^^^

this one is short and simple but has a good concept......try to like be more descriptive and make ur lines more longer and u would see how it helps in ur writing.....the flow was alright..just a bit off at some in-between lines but it was nice .. vocabs can work on it...over all i liked it


hopin to read more from u!

if ya ask me...we got 2 much depressin shit in here....and half dis shit is true...but this piece...i feel this piece..good shit..peace..