C.R.E.A.M 2003:B.R.E Style...
 

C.ash
R.ules
E.verything
A.round
M.e
We hustlin for money, but snakes get it before us/
stayin on corners but at the right time,they hop off the bus/
Its typical of them to get all the fame for somethin they never do/
And similiar to a prostitute, "lying" is what they always do/


And Cash rules everythin in the rap world,it seems its the main goal today,since nobody has heart/
Nobody who ever makes it, raps because they rap, because your dream would shatter to shards/
Not the average criticism, the rap world is dying,from lack of the annual realism, going to bling-bling each day/
All I see, on BET, and MTV, are wannabe lyricists who find to be successful, the Cash Money way/
Wu said it best when they said C.R.E.A.M, because thats what has happened up till now/
Because all these rappers wanna be, is someone who finds nice chicks, just so they could go downtown/
They ain't talkin of sin, they sinnin in religion and the rap world, lookin for all forms of lust/
Cowards would never support they child, cuz it was a mistake, like when the condom bust/
Pussy faggots, I would take a whole crew from RB, lyrically murder any contestant, to be exposed as fake/
because i know that, nobody in here, gives a shit how many bitches you fucked this year, or how much money you made/


so step aside, and let the real rappers rap/
because lil niggas like you can't argue wit that/
you should try out to be a clown, cuz ya rhymes is jokes/
because all ya do is lie, because everyone kow that ya broke/

we don't give a fuck, about the rims on the truck/
we don't give a damn, what you got on that land/
so just the shut up,cuz you'd bust like a nut/
because i wasn't a fan, and that career of yours,is gonna get slammed/
into the depths of hell,where nobody will find it again/
you'd be forgottan man, hated by all, cuz ya greed,never gave to ya friends/

uppin this shit

you had a nice i dea but i couldnt keep the flow, it seems like your lines just have to many words in them and it seperates the rhmying to much. you know what i mean?

its like you read two whole sentances and out of the two sentances only two of the words rhyme.

i think if you made the lines shorter it would rhyme better.

just work on that and i think it would be a lot better, you had a nice idea but a song just aint a song if it doesnt rhyme right

thanks for replying to mine.

thanks yo, i understand what you said, i was tryin to experiment on it so i guess that didn't work out for me, lol. uppin for more comments^^^^

dude, your flow seemed off...but that's what flu said, so I don't have much to add.
The topic was good, but you should've elaborated more, sorta gave examples of what you mean. It was pretty clear already, but you need to make certain that everyone feels what you're sayin with this kinds shit, even the herbs who only raps about the shit they have.
Peace

thanx yo, like i said, i tried to experiment so i guess i gotta stay on familiar grounds

^^i agree with that. u gotta use more internals. but, dont overdo that shit. i also read u said u should stay on familiar grounds. i think that that would be a good idea. if something works stay with that dont try to do something else. pzz~

well there aint really anything i could tell u you havent heard so just shorten up your lines a bit,keep postin,stay up playa.

Thanks for the reply to mine...

anyways flu broke this down nicely but all i have to say is that it could be pulled off in audio with the right technique... it was nice... put more heart into your works... 7/10