part of my life prt1
 

Heres my second rap. LEts see if i do better

Yo this story is about a kid named chad/
when he was small he looked up to his dad/
he wanted to be a farmer and live off the land/
until one day his father wooped him with his hand/
this confused the child and he could not understand/
what drove his dad crazy and to go mad and he promised himself he would not be like his dad/
now at age 17 hes filled with anger and rage/
hoping to put his feelings down on the page/
but with his rage he tends to not use his brain and it tends to bring him pain/
tends to drive him insain/
where he things his only family lies in his gang/
till one day he beats a kid with a chain/
and the though of jail brings back his pain/
his parents are mad that their boy is bad/
and the boy relizes he turned out like his dad/

hit me up and tell me what you think. i hope im getting better.

Its aight, ya still need to grow in vocab, and ya have small spelling errors that I can see to this one, so you may wanna edit it and fix them up..but other than that its aight for me.

R.x Out

you need to elevate your vocab, your rhyming one syllable words, it gets boring after a while, cause you could predict what you are going to say.....you had a nice idea it was just to simple

Re: part of my life prt1
 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by MeX
[B]Heres my second rap. LEts see if i do better

Yo this story is about a kid named chad/
when he was small he looked up to his dad/
he wanted to be a farmer and live off the land/
until one day his father wooped him with his hand/
QUOTE]
^^hahahahah..........Tha last line was funny......I kno that this freestyle wasnt suppose to be funny.........But da last line was funny...................hahaha...............And one more thing ......This drop dont need vocab because its about ur life