my first drop in rb check it out
 

alright i'm lookin for constructive critiscism and things i can work on.....i try to respond to everyone elses so respond to mine

mesmerized by the daze of confusion, brain contusions-
all in ya head, ya beef wit me, son you know that your better of dead/
is christ forgiving?/
i got this weed in my system and i'm dancing to a diffrent melody-
now i'm tryin ta commit felonies, wit vodka on rocks, tryin ta escape, just ta get caught by cops/
cause i've lost hope for crack addicts, skinny bitches winnin pageants-
starvin their health,they can't be hungry,cause lyrics my appatizer
and my main course is wealth/
i'm all about knowledge of self, but i've lost all aspects to these in entrapments-
perpetrated re-inactments of past tense events/
got me thinkin of life, and how much time i got left-
most cats should put the mic on the shelf, and start holdin their breath/
cause i'm stressed, best beleive i'm blessed when i'm kickin-
musical massacre is only half of what i'm bringin, cause i leave wit every girls booty sining/










artifacts has spoken

good flow and vocab, but half it didn't make any sense... work on stickin to a topic and not just rhyming words..

lol yea i kinda got blazed up before i wrote this before school this morning usally i do topicals but today i just went wit this cause it flowed well