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POSTHUMOUS

A walking dead man,
wear guises to cover this holed soul
emptyness and lifeless
hollowed out like bird bones
My visual perception is monochrome
cognitive dome, what's real
grey skies, grey faces like I'm living in Pleasantville
But less pleasant than how live people expect to feel
my death concealed by a contract delivered signed and sealed
It's me you feel when when your surroundings become colder
stimulating 6th senses
and pulling covers over your shoulders
I used to feel things
could actually grip shapes when clutching
but these days I reach and grab to touch but feel nothing
Bloods rushing but I'm intangible
and I can't handle this learned lesson
I can't come to terms with my significance being lessoned
And that's where I stand but the foundations kinda weak
steadfast in stance on quicksand but still sink
My philosophies all wreak???
of unrealistic designs???
looking for pseudo~happiness that I'll never find??
So everyday I'm losing time
every second, minute, and hour
I'm devoured losing power so I cringe, cover and cower
My outcries are sour and bitter in the same yelp
I'm all out of LIFELINES and can't call for help
I have no MILLIONS
but that wouldn't even make me happy
I would rather have a life and maybe somebody to BACK me
But everybody just FRONTS
while I LEAD and sulk so low
the folks around me sing DUETS
while I blow SOLO
I coordinate DEFENSES well
anticipate and counteract
so stingy with my MECHANISM
so I push good people back
It's the present,
but these other tenses I can't seem to let go
my past history surly shapes me so I live in retro
Moving along so slow
stressing emotions and try taming them
people have turned me into this hard rock
like I'm laced with titanium
In my cold eyes I see no compromise
no surprise I'm lonely
and seek someone to confide
That's why my death's a tragedy
so I live post life as such
I tried but died because I loved people way too much......