SIN for FORGIVNES
 

feels like im being pressured,is god pressin down on me//
or is he rite beside me,want to grab a mic and bus with me//
sayin it how it is,or how it should,and ways on how its brought my atention and how its showed//
the nasty things ive done,will my bretherin forgive as i watched them bodies gettin blowed//
watched as theyre hearts pumped slower'^(pause)^'and enven slower//
my mother prayin for me,for pretection,and i never even said that i love her//
now thats shes gone,theres nothin more i want to do on earth except jus hug her//
mother,i really love you,i want to thank you for what youv done//
but not the silly things i did,like threatenin you with a gun,as i was high on that shit watchin as the ceiling sbun//
when i drop heat,im always watchin as the crowd before me is gettin stuned//
now thats what i always called fun,not when were runin from the cops with a hand full of drum//(drum weed)
am i jus scum,or a youth whos been most of his life mislead,by now who are locked up or known as dead//
my mother always said,i gotta get my act up,before im incarcerated and always fed up//
i used it as a statement,and not jus advice,now im locked up in the jail cell eatin nuthin allday but rice//
so listen to them teachers,or all ya family dead or present,cuz crime doesent pay,payin isnt nice....

a nother wack drop....jus tryin to waste time....drop opinions...pz

yo will any1 give an opinion and shit on this shit...!??

They would if you replied to theres then said "go peep mine" lol
I'll edit this with a breakdown after i pot for PnP league. .

feels like im being pressured,is god pressin down on me//
or is he rite beside me,want to grab a mic and bus with me//

me/me/me... It flows aight but not so inventive...

sayin it how it is,or how it should,and ways on how its brought my atention and how its showed//

this line really confused me. I couldn't follow the flow right.

the nasty things ive done,will my bretherin forgive as i watched them bodies gettin blowed//

this works well with the previous

watched as theyre hearts pumped slower'^(pause)^'and enven slower//
my mother prayin for me,for pretection,and i never even said that i love her//
now thats shes gone,theres nothin more i want to do on earth except jus hug her//

her/her... :P

mother,i really love you,i want to thank you for what youv done//
but not the silly things i did,like threatenin you with a gun,as i was high on that shit watchin as the ceiling sbun//

the first line and the rhyme are okay. the second line doesn't work right somehow... its a bit confusing and a bit too long.

when i drop heat,im always watchin as the crowd before me is gettin stuned//
now thats what i always called fun,not when were runin from the cops with a hand full of drum//(drum weed)
am i jus scum,or a youth whos been most of his life mislead,by now who are locked up or known as dead//

those three are your best, imo. you got stunned, then fun then drum... and then follow up with scum. good flow.

my mother always said,i gotta get my act up,before im incarcerated and always fed up//
i used it as a statement,and not jus advice,now im locked up in the jail cell eatin nuthin allday but rice//

you only eat rice in jail? or did it just rhyme? :P

so listen to them teachers,or all ya family dead or present,cuz crime doesent pay,payin isnt nice....

finish is a bit weak, the idea is good but I wasn't feelin the end. overall it was an okay drop, i was gettin into it but sometimes the flow just threw me back out. those three lines you had there were real good, the rest was okay, could use some work. peep my stuff when ya got a second :)

It was aight here and there ya need to getting a bigger voacb so ya can rhyme the words with something more than what the normal word was and is.