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-   -   im awake (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=53985)

B(V)U$3 06-04-03 08:20 PM

im awake
 
In a cold sweat I awake my body quivers and shakes
I find myself lost in the space of my own mental state
Its to late my fate has thrown me into a story
Where I’m shot down by the man and the word of his glory
Its raining its pouring as we sit here in morning
Weave lost another child in the process of the forming
Fought through the conforming to lay down now as an example
This is what happens when you leave the colony to sample
Real life, In reality the truth lies
In the eyes of the beholder you must fight through the disguise
Through the lies and the distractions calling you from the skies
Because the size of the prize is much more then meets the eyes
There are no second tries this is chance a do or die
You can get up on your feet or lay down to die
In my diary I write this was the end of day one
I’ve been thrown into a war where only fools use guns

PleDge 06-04-03 08:30 PM

this piece was aight.......bit ambigious though throught....lol im stupid aight and slow but at the start it sounded like you were on about miscarraiges..then finished talkin about some kinda fight wen fools use guns...you kinda lost me a bit...and i aint sure the title fits in....although must give props for these lines

In the eyes of the beholder you must fight through the disguise
Through the lies and the distractions calling you from the skies
Because the size of the prize is much more then meets the eyes
There are no second tries this is chance a do or die

ireally liked those lines....keep spittin..thats the only way youll get better

Bash 06-04-03 08:45 PM

^^^^^^^What she said

B(V)U$3 06-04-03 08:54 PM

yea i didnt have much direction
you could take a lot from this
we will see where it goes


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