LyricAli (2-1) vs. understatement (1-1)
 

Check in's by Monday
Verses by Tuesday
Voting ends Thursday

16-48 lines

Topic...
The Death of God

checkin in here................................
wicked topic..............................
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HERE!

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SETTING THE SCENE

Urban convenience-style store, a la K-Mart or Wal Mart. One of those soft rock stations with minimal advertising monotonously drones on the speakers. "What If God Was One Of Us," by Joan Osbourne is currently playing. Nobody pays much attention to it, as usual.

THE SCRIPTURE

A walk so simply, perhaps, cleverly devised..
A middle-aged man roams the store
But, you never see his eyes..
An out-of-place, respectful manner, in fact, it's frowned upon..
School's out: Clowns enter with a racket
Hoping to clown his wand..
Making his way to check-out, he reveals his credit card..
Signs on the line, (G)ary (O). (D)ougherty
Then reconceals embedded scars..
Abruptly gives a "Thank You," makes his way toward the door..
The clowns follow behind, obviously not thankful
For the visit Gary paid to their store..
Displayed with a roar, they scream, "Wait!" in a boisterous tone..
A hand on his shoulder, Gary calmly says:
"Take it back, before you choice is condoned.."
The clowns continue clownin'; By Gary, they're tagged dissident guys..
They knock his bifocals to the ground
Revealed: a pair of magnificent eyes..
He tries to continue, head seemingly scanning the ground..
When he says he's the Almighty King
The clowns laugh, demanding his crown..
At this point, he picks his head up; Sadly, he's brought to their level..
The clowns disperse in every direction
Their minds distraught and embezzled..
Taught by the devil, they were, Gary realized.. Evil stakes claim on Earth
"How did Lucipher find me?" he thinks
"I figured a fake name would work.."
At this point begins a poignant, yet strong and brief eclipse..
Blinded for life, eyes aren't useful
Satan rears his ugly teeth and lips
It doesn't make headlines.. CNN does not report the news
Little things are noticed first
More people resort to booze..
With no savior to worship, the masses' lose fun and lust
So before tempting one to retaliate
Remember: God is one of us

nice piece ali................
mine is almost finished, just writing a last verse...........................
one.......................

Kurt was an ancient, his life long since forgotten,
his mind held knowledge, his subject were rotten,
he had lived a good life, long and blissful eternity,
Kurt knew the end neared, and he became enmity,
had always been a faithful man, always a believer,
he knew a higher power ruled, a great deceiver,
tears burned down his cheeks, emptying his eyes,
and Kurt breathed his last, and a piece of God died...........

Sally piloted adeptly through the nighttime sky,
just a berry in a bunch, a small piece of the pie,
Sally flew towards Earth, her mission was over,
atmosphere in front of her seemed to know her,
it shook her craft and all her crewmates paniced,
and there was no possible way she could land it,
and people looked up as the burned up in the sky,
and in each and every one a little piece of God died……….

The graveyard fills up, the digger slams down his shovel,
He has no strength left, he is weary, and his face stubbled,
He’s been digging all day, and now each piece is buried,
a new piece goes every minute, and the gravedigger hurries
and when the grave digger dies, God will go completely,
because he’s the last piece of puzzle, finishing it sweetly
and he becomes a young boy who will be there to meet us,
seated on the right hand, the Bible calls this boy Jesus

God makes up us all, and is with us from our new beginning,
Lives with us through the hardship, if we’re losing or winning,
And he dies just the same, each piece of him passing us by,
The world is his graveyard, and with the world God will die

moral: Everybody dies, no matter who you are. A piece of God dies with all of us.
Peace

uppin for votes.....................................
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This was a Dope Battle... my respect goes to both of you.... you both flipped the topic very nicely.... Lyricali your concept of God Dying was hot... i never would have thought of that... (at least i think i never would have thought of that..lol) dope imagery and good detail

Under yours was pretty nice too... using the idea that God is in all of us was a nice touch ... very well written

But i have to vote so..........

Vote: Lyricali by a very slim margin

Good verse, understatement.. Upped!

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Votes, please..

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I keep getting 1 vote battles....
stupid losing streak.............
nice battle lyricali................
Peace--------------->