Yo Opinion 'bout My stupid rap.
 

I'm waiting in this class, waiting for time to pass.
Everyone is snoring, this so freaking boring.
Oh yeah! The teacher leaves and it's time to partay!
Lets go dance, drink, and have fun all day.
Lets not study for the test tonight
Why don't we start a big food fight?
Lets mess up this really gay place.
Lets put dirt on the teacher's face.
This is gonna be cool, This is gonna be fun.
But if the teacher caught us we would never see the sun.
She shouldn't of treated us like sh*t.
She makes us learn, be quiet, and sit.
Lets screw up her room more.
I wanna hear her scream like a whore.
We're bad students. Hah, You already know.
The door is opening... Oh what the hell no!
The teacher stands infront of the room
Her face looks like its gonna go boom!
Then she says, "No More Partays. Now, PAY ATTENTION OR YOU'LL GET DETENTION!"
Oh damn, Now I'm really in trouble, If I say one more word then it's gonna double.
--------------------------------
Diz ain't da best rap. I'm just a noob. So whaddya think about that? Wutz yo opinion?

You definetly need yo mama.............................................. ..............................................!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

dog leave while u can
u cant survive here
u garbage
.1/10

to it ok but wouldnt get u nowhere in a battle

yo feelin u,u probly wrote that on personal experiance which is where all mc's worth a damn are cumin from,jus keep elevatin dawg.

Peace

Keep at it dawg...I'm green as fuck too, so maybe my advice doesn't mean that much, but keep workin on your vocab and rhythm. West is right, you could tell you were coming from personal experience, and that gave your story flavor. Keep droppin...

I agree with Pharoah & west. Just pratice, ya know. You'll get better. 'Aight. Keep Workin...

needs work. you at least stayed on the same subject but you should try gettin more in depth with it. use a different rhyme scheme and try uppin the vocab. use some multis. just keep practicin.........

ye i also also agree with pharoah and west, you just gotta keep writing but maybe to more specific topics? not just somit ridiculous like that! You gotta put feeling into your things aswell not tryna make ppl laff, your not gonna get much cred if you dont got a dope concept if u gettin me...But we were all noobs once so help the new'uns dont just diss em!
~1~

illest shit ive ever read...


9.9999/10

hahahahaha that was so fuckin wack

0/10 more liek it



hit up my shit
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=54179