read dis , any thoughts or examples on how i cud improve it
 

i pull a gun to your head making you nervous//
snatching up purses//
an kill you even though we were faking the murders//
you need to cursed from these verses while i disburst this, like manz at macy dz happily jacking a jerk in costumers burgers//
wit the skill and speed to kill a thieve//
cut him so fast the scab will heal and seev//
b4 the skin starts to even bleed//
im the illest breed and an obscene~burdon//
murderscene, of bodies bein severd clean//
after the police have reported a miss-eenng~person//
im like a clean vermin,react like erik sermon//
while humping and obseece german//
and each person will see my peak surging//
as i speak deep and keep murking theese geeks perment//
i come wit tight skill, jezebelz , sketz get left
wit da pussy wet and an overnight pill//(sket=hoe)
sometimes bredas wonder bout my mic skillz//
blud it aint hard infact its easy like white gals//
piss me off and i might do the kind of shit dat
aint right to//
like swithing ya testicalz 4 ya eyeballls//
battling me is suicidal//
like bugee jumping when the rope aint even tied to//

Better wordplay check the Wrodplay tutorial

be more creative and complex.......use multis,and put (-) a dash in between words so the person can have a better understandin on how you want to say the word.

aiight
~1~

aight seen , thank 4 da feed back

dont rap about killing people, rap about stuff you know, it will help you improve alot,

the whole killing people thing is played out anyway nobody wants to hear that anymore.

i odnt know what else to tell you cause im not feeling that style so i dont know what to say that could make it better

keep the flow happening, try to make lines as even as possible