What Did I Do WRONG?
 

dis is one of my battles i won the battle but heads said it was wack..................what did i do wrong.......................

dis weak mc tryin battle me,
like he can handle me,
he obviously escapin reality,
after this verse im labelin him "miss congeniality"
he a "mortal" mc tryin "kombat" me, when its over, mutherfuckers will be yellin "fatality"
hi son its your father its bout time we meet,
the only reason you here is to your mom all i am is "butcher", all i can give her is "raw meat"
yeah my name Akeem, like "Comin To America", get the fuck outta here wit dat "Nonsense",
how u gon talk "Carlos" when you "swam" to America with "Elian Gonzalez",
bitch ass nigga, talkin bout "Norminator", im the "Terminator",
what u think of that,
well i am to your mom, cause every time i bust a nut, i tell her "ill be back",
you shouldnt have challenged me, im tight, you will never spit nuthin this nice,
the only way you could is if you printed this out,
put it in your "mouth",
chewed it up, and spit it back out,
you girl ass nigga, u cant escape dis lyrical "mag",
you a "fag", the only time u came close ta bein a man, was when u was dressin in "drag",
battlin me step on stage get lyrically "raped",
lyrically im like "R. Kelly", youll get "pissed" on and "taped".............................

Half of it didnt rhyme and the flow was horiible dont do this

blah//
blablahblahblah//
blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah//
blahblah/
blahblahblahblahblahblah//
blah//
blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahbl ahblahblah//

It looks horrible and doesnt sound right

I think Slasher tryna become a mod............uppin 4 votes....lol

uppin.............

Even out your syllables to create a more fluid flow.

Get rid of the " all over the place, makes the verse look more like a fashion statement than a battle. If it is true wordplay, people will understand it without the quotation marks, trust me, we're not that stupid.

Use more creative punches, personals, wordplay, etc. Most of your shit was played out.. Do research on your opponent if you have to, but use personals, they help.

kredit said mostly everything but

fix your structure man try and even the lines out

do wat kredit said

^^Freepost

Anyway

Fix The Structure Of Your Verse...

check the sticky. . closed