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-   -   The Sea of Blood Upon the Ground (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=59356)

Pax 06-20-03 03:17 AM

The Sea of Blood Upon the Ground
 
another patriotic poem about war.

The creases of the battle hardened,
The sea of blood upon the ground,
A gun in the hands of a warrior,
The dead and dying countless,
A war fought to ensure freedom,
The living noble rise in triumph,
The dead lay in sacrifice,
Millions have died so billions could live,
I wish I could have been there,
I know I would not have fled,
Hopefully I would have been one of the living,
But I would be proud to be one of the dead.

phoenix808 06-23-03 01:54 AM

nice,
could be better if it was a little longer,
you captured the feelings well,
nice job everall
peace

shiznit 06-23-03 02:45 AM

Re: The Sea of Blood Upon the Ground
 
Quote:

The creases of the battle hardened,
The sea of blood upon the ground,


nice opening....starting it by the setting is really good..props!


Quote:
A gun in the hands of a warrior,
The dead and dying countless,


deep!...i liked how the way u describe this.."...dying countless"..i loved that one...it's quite strong..just basically stood out

Quote:
A war fought to ensure freedom,
The living noble rise in triumph,


vocabulary is well used in here...i liked it!


Quote:
The dead lay in sacrifice,
Millions have died so billions could live,


good message...i liked how the way you made the reader understand the importance of those ppl who died

Quote:
I wish I could have been there,
I know I would not have fled,


hmmm pretty interesting...teh courage and determinationn..it showed on here...love it

Quote:
Hopefully I would have been one of the living,
But I would be proud to be one of the dead.


these last few lines are definitely my fave from all of them...just makes me feel soo proud of all those ppl who died for our country...


good job...like a tribute to all those who sacrficed their lives for their country...nice work!

blood__thick 06-23-03 09:54 PM

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Pax 06-24-03 02:30 PM

^^what the hell are u doin? fuckin freeposter. I am gonna report this, bitch. damn newbies fuckin freepost everywhere.

oddly ill 06-24-03 02:34 PM

yo i thought this was a deep post nice choice of words keep this up kid
holla back sheck my shit out for me

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=60515

Pax 06-25-03 03:58 PM

uppin 4 response


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