Unfinished Business- Problematic
 

feedback much appreciated the hook is uspposed 2 have a smapled feel which xplains its shortness


*Hook-The MRB*
we have no protection no contraception the whole worlds pregnant with problems and no1z an acception

*verse 1- The MRB
With myself im debating, tryna wage war against constant hating/
Deliberating on haunting thoughts, my mind should contain an 18 rating/
Yet muthafuckas on a different page, question my sickening rage/
When it comes to viewing my own visions im still two years underage/
Why the state? aren’t I the one surrounded with beautiful materials/
The one whos possessions extend more than free gifts in cereals/
Well, well im basking in my middle class home/
But becoz im privileged, don’t mean I can’t have a right to moan/
You can’t look in the photo albums, coz my problems aint jus visual/
There biblical, moral audio and trivial/
N Its so hard, when theres no1 with whom to share/
Lifes constant barriers, even though others are aware/
Communication? Aww yes ive witnessed a demonstration/
But my text on a moniter, ain’t really aural penetration/
I can watch and listen but myself I can not break/
N if I don’t find a formula soon, it will need to take/
Work from another section, to give me a confidence injection/
That way others will begin to know and understand my affection/
For them,then hopefully they’l make l more of and effort and be/
Able to figure out what im all about mentally/
And eventually ill find out for myself as well/
Maybe my thoughts and what came out of comes out of my mouth will gel/
Coz you see its easy to create a sudden twist of fate/
If u have support, but you see im still in wait/
Enemies and friends, should be completely separated from one another/
An evil one surely shouldn’t be considered a social brother/
But then its hard, you can’t just wave you wand and dispel/
Coz they once helped you stand up on the ground from which u fell/
Besides when others are in the equation, you’ve got a remainder/
Someone who doesn’t consider this, to be an invader/
So ill just stare, crossing my fingers tryna interact/
Tryna rediscover old chemistry thats jus seemed to collapse/
So ill put on a brave face, barely keeping myself in line/
But it jus feels, im tryna fight law and crime at the same time/


*Hook-The MRB*
we have no protection no contraception the whole worlds pregnant with problems and no1z an acception

*verse 2- Wooshy*

This Shit is What I find the hardest rap about/
I become hot n sweaty & fulstured & being to shout/
So ill spit it how i see it & you can draw you conlusions/
But for now sit & listen about my confusions/
What pisses me off the most that people spread lies/
Its asthough theres a group of them giving each other high 5s/
Thing is they dont come out with it it all by word of mouth/
All of the rumours are fake sticky & grimy like the south/
You think you with the prefect girl then she gives you clymidia/
Now all you can think about is how u shaged that girl named lydia/
All you people piss me of with can i have some get your own shit/
Cuz i buy this stuff to be a one bit hit but you make it a 2 bit hit/
I get less & you get more from me stop scroungin buy your own/
its this shit that i have to say i cant condone/
Your actions are survial actions, theses are the actions/
that i only know 2 well these actions form factions/
who needs eneimes when you have friends like these/
When you hear that kinda shit your heart is ice & freezes/
Whats wrong you ask ? the fact that no 1 is your friend no more/
some times i wish i could just walk out of lifes exit door/


*Hook-The MRB*
we have no protection no contraception the whole worlds pregnant with problems and no1z an acception//

this was a hot drop but it was pretty long though, the wordplay and flow were good and shit..
pep my drops- blackout 4 and freestyle pro, one or both if you'd like

^^^^
k fo real drop links coz i have 2 go and ill do them 2morrow when im browsing this again otherwise ill jus 4get

up up and away

omg uppin fo some more

here here in agreement

well thanks fro all the feedback it was much appreciated

yo tight drop dawg again slightly long but it don't matter cos u kept your flow n word ill right through, gud drop dawg!!!!!!!!!!

will ya check my drop-- first open mic -- thanx!

^^^^
fo shure

forget the lenght
very well written,mad nice i thought...the hook was aiight,was short for a hook though,but meh,what ya gonan do it did go well...very good ideas along here,wooshy your verse was ill also,mrb tightness,again the length was nothign ,i enjoyed reading all of this...i liked the line near the begining the 18 line,that was nice...good concept,the hook again did go with the verses,even thoguh it was short for a hook,it fitted nocely,you gonna be doign som eaudios soon?...hopefully,shit will be ill...

good drop



bismillah

^ thanks man we might do audio ya never know

As i look into my crytal ball audio appears in our future

i didnt know ur a medium MRB??^^^

but this was some tight ish....the whole content was pretty dope...the flow is definitelly good..yeah and i would wanna definitely wanna hear some audio for this...

madd drop...!

lol ye audios can be done hay ^ thanks man if u need uz 2 return the favor drop use a line ne way upping fo some more

thankz shiznit ill giz u feedback on yo poem in a min