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-   -   rate it and give feedback (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=62131)

gigadogg15 06-30-03 03:40 AM

rate it and give feedback
 
Bringin it back to me again//kids all around spending money like its sand//puttin down cash for a record or two or three//they dont care who it is//as long as it has me//crazy lyrics to fuck with your head//not hard to do once your dead//if a battles what you want you better get ready to play//cuz a man like my self has a lot to say//cash is the simplest thing indeed//not much work, but its lots of fun//she makes hundreds by the hour//thats lots of mon.//if more can be said//it eventually will be//but this is all for now//so pack up and go home//but ill be here again//just you remember//once you fuck with me//your a dead mother fucker

U.Insight 06-30-03 04:01 AM

man this was very simple
the flow was shaky structure was blah
it didnt really make since at time
you talked about stuff and it was nonsense
elevate man

gigadogg15 06-30-03 04:03 AM

Ifigured a lot of that stuff, but for being my first post, you cant expect a whole lot, but it'll get better, believe it

U.Insight 06-30-03 04:06 AM

my aim is ; insight347 if you need help on certain things i could help you man

Stealth Eclipse 06-30-03 05:14 AM

sorry it was wack...

1.no double meanings
2.metaphors
3.similies
4.odd unstable structure
5.meaningless

Court ajurned (sorry just keep'n it real)

fretman 06-30-03 02:14 PM

yo man that were pretty tight but need to touch up ur shit just like stealth said im not takin the piss just sayin man dont take it personally dog

Young P 06-30-03 02:57 PM

i read the fisrt 2 lines and i stopped readin

this shit is wack

~1~

gigadogg15 07-01-03 12:50 AM

the more critiscim the better, it means i need to elevate, no complaints here


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