hard times
 

Growning up wasn't so tough til papa had enough, shit got rough!
mama dipped out, wasn't a pretty sight, lonley son living life, conflicts with pap's cousing fights
everyday got worse, i pray for the sun go down,
night time work was my way of being found.
homies was there for me, and wise versa on that,
old fashion shit, there was no gats, mothafucka don't know how to act we scrap.
that weapon is punk pussy shit, you pull a trigga but dare you to push me bitch
there aint no might i'm hit you, scratch bite fight like a pitbull
i'm drawling blood, but you gone live to remember me
still much love we both thug won't chance til the end of me
my enemies brought it upon they self, see i cause no drama
hatting bitchz risk my health, you'd do the same for the wealth.
city life was full of suprises, birth, suffer, and death
we all see it all, baptisum and bless hope for the best
why stress when you can breath and think so easy
heart beatin fast believe me, do what ever to feed me
finding it hard to trust so much betrail and anger
trials, tribulations, court martials, my destinies danger
no stranger to being broke, broke as a joke
you'd probably laugh, bet i bet you on the same tight rope
its all real though, smoke in yo mouth recycle exhale through yo nose, temper rose slow
fuck it theres to much to make, half ass break, bake a cake, snort it, sport it and take fake til you shiver and shake its over

I dunno, Grammar and spelling is a must, THe concept was good except the change in subject, Technically subject wasn't changed but SubTopic was like at first it was a different family issue and trials and tribulations is a phrase I heard before. Overall I suppose it would've been good. That last line may have been cool to write (I do it sometimes too) but if you had a beat and tried and fit that in then you should sign up for Bone Thugs cause that line is just too long. But it was Ok. Not something to realease without some more work put into it. GOOD JOB!!

:-)

This Was Pretty Nice..Cool Concept..Flow Was Cool I Guess...Overall Nice Piece..6.9/10

Return The Favor Homey.. http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=61481

yeah ya flow wasnt all that great but just give it a tune up and write another verse with better flow and then you'll be str8 1..

Shiznit's Thoughts:

Vocabulary : spelling was really bad...not that u gotta have like 'CORRECT' spelling of words on here cuz i know that some words that sounds alike they actually make their words spell differently so like when i read it ..it would sound the same..
Vocabs are never really used so much cuz this was like something that u say over and over again ..i mean like regular stuff ya know..and cause of some errors the readers would be like really confuse bout what ur talking bout so might as well write the correct word spelling instead of putting styles like "cousing, gats, baptisum"....but yeah u could work on that

FLOW....errrr...like every1 else said needs work...alright sometimes it would help if after u wrote something or even while ur writing it...read it to urself out loud so you would hear like what it would be sound like if others would read it...just for that you would simply change something so that the flow would be perfect ...well not that it has to be perfect but its like when u read it..u would get on with the flow and it would be really nice to rap it out loud...but some fits tho but some are off...

Wordplay...no comment cuz u aint really use it *shrugs* it would be better tho if you could like use it once in awhile..it would really help a lot

Rhyme Scheme...hmm..not bad cuz u really made at some point that u have to rhyme every word of every last line...it was a nice try to like maintain ur rhyme scheme but definitely gonna do a lot better believe me

i always say this:

we still elevatin...you should join us!