some verses for an audio collab.. tell me what u think...
 

I'm doing an audio collab with Cin Laden.. tell me what you think of these verses... 1


invision wisdom in my mental prison.//
with medical percision I slit an incision into this game.//
injur ya name, degrade ya respect with a half step.//
after the the full I pull the metaphorical wool over ya eyes.//
with ritorical soul, no answer behind your demise.. or my mind.//
I'm scratchin' my own head after listnin' to my own tracks.//
my own raps confuse me, loose me in the complex design.//
perplex lines surface to the top as I arise.//
rhymes comprised of nine times the skill, I kill your will.//
short ya power like my lyrics a blackout, you hear it an' blackout!.//
fast to pass out, like a chlorophyl mask latched down.//
ask how.. make'n me repeat myself.. shit's ritorical.//
there is no answer, it just is, like cancer I happen an' spread.//
competition?.. half-of 'em dead, or atleast their career is after I'm thru with-um.//
take two of um, pour glue on um an' that's the only way they ever stick to a beat.//
you'd think they'd get sick of defeat, listen pussys.. just stick to tha weed...

we reapin' havoc on your elementary mathmatics.//
you call those equations, dawg your script barely addin'.//
more subtractin', like you try'n to evade elevation.//
me an' cin laden created acceleration.//
we faster than all-a you, mind at a hundred clicks.//
with this we hittin' a hundred cliques, crews, and gangs.//
just sick fools, don't spit they drule while we rule the game.//
no clue how to fuel they name, call me enron.//
a scandalous rappa with more petro than anyone.//
gased up an' ready to make enemy's run,//
'till they crawl from an energy slump, then we leave 'em strung out like celery stalks.//
is it embellishment or not, am I lyin' you be the judge.//
you still couldn't sentence me with those sentences.//
you'll never get ahead-a this, don't kid ya-self kid.//
when it comes to rappin' this pair'll never give in... ..

ok.. wtf.. 5 views, and no replies... what are you people purposely doing the opposite of what the title says.. ass holes..

I thought they were tight...........I'd like to hear them in audio but reading them they seemed nice........... let me know when you get the audio done.

no problem... thx

uppin' 4 sleepers..

niceness mate pm me and let me hear the audio.

n/p

Shiznit's Thoughts:

Vocabulary...well done...very creative and very interesting used of words...

Flow...the beginning was really great but as it gets to the end...some were off but when i read it the second time..it wasnt that bad...but definitely wanna hear this in audio..

WORDPLAY...nice multies..."invision wisdom in my mental prison.//
with medical percision I slit an incision into this game.//" - brilliant

Content...the theme was quite amazing...some r a bit out of my mind but it was alright

OVERALL...definitely good..nice job!

that's the shit I'm talkin' about... can other people please start bein' like that in their responses... thx dawg... good lookin'.. 1

oh yea.. lmao--> "tampons are expensive"... that's funny ass shit..

yo u shuld stick wit text u wuld have a lot more wins cuz ive herd stuff u drop in audio an it dont sound as good as written .....cuz i liked this a whole lot but it sounds different wen uput ti in audio i dono juss a sugestion

ummm. I only really do text battles... and let's see you do audio before talkin' shit to me.. I know my lyrics are bomb.. my sound's shit, but MEMORIZATION and filters can help that. (I never remember my rhymes.. lol). you should hear my actual freestyles..

That is a large reason why varentao and myself decided to make her a mod of this forum and Poetic Scriptures. ;)

seen...