for ja
 

i was just thinking about a girl i know a few days ago, the "temperature rising" tune was stuck in my head so i wrote something to it. pretty much how i was feeling shortly after she came to visit one weekend.


you know i could never put a miss in your place/
i remember the first time you put a kiss on my face/
the first time the lights went low and....well, you know/
the afterglow, the wide smiles after estasty throes/
the kind of girl who was a friend first, through best and worst/
who'd seen me at my darkest, feelings left can burst/
we were destined, like this was pre-ordaned in the stars/
and now i'm trying to get my feelings explained in these bars/
ever since i laid eyes on you, knew you were special/
getting to know you gave my whle life a kind of refreshal/
even at a distance, we communicate clearly/
even in silence, you look into my eyes and hear me/
this makes sense like a flawless theory, telling my friends/
they calling me pussywhipped, but i'm yelling at them/
this is it, from now until death do us part/
and i'm feeling your love with every single breath to my heart/


corny i know, but its not often i write a seriously upbeat verse.

Ummmmm

mixed feelings.........

I think it was an alright drop............

it was good for what you said it was.......but nothing stood out at me.........

still a good drop though, keep doing your thing..........

That was *alright* It was good but too plain.

This was not Bad!! Well at least I can say it wasnt one of those shitty ass other open mics I read today!!

But up the content, add some better flow & you`ll have a nice peice .. good concept though

pz


1!

I thought it was nice... not thrilling... but nice...