Shattered Dreams...
 

Here in a moment, then gone in an instant/
Ever so close, yet always off in the distance/
Should I follow my dreams, or do I take the path of least resistance/
The pursuit of a love I've never known in my existance/
Every time I try to convince you to stay/
That's when I wake up and everything is still the same/
We've never even met and you don't even know my name/
So I try to forget you. But, the memory remains/
Just for once, I wish that I could show you how I feel/
Holding nothing back and leaving everything revealed/
'Cause you're the only thing left that is keeping me alive/
But, you're the biggest reason for all the pain that I feel inside/
You're the driving force behind everything I do/
Everything that I am, and everything that I want to be is because of you/
I try to bring myself to my senses, but I guess I'll never see/
That I'm living a dream, nothing more than a fantasy/


So, I try to open my eyes. But, I just can't wake up/
The way I'm living my life, deep down it's fucking me up/
Because I can't realize, and I just cannot see/
That everything that is you, has consumed everything that is me/
So, I try to divide. But, I can't seperate/
'Cause no matter how hard I try, I can't divide myself from my fate/
I can't divide myself from my fate/


Here in a moment, then gone in an instant/
Ever so close, yet always off in the distance/
Tryin' to seize my oppertunity, but I wonder if I missed it/
'Cause every second that slips away defaces all of my persistance/
Every time I try to convince you to stay/
I know you can hear my voice. But, all you do is walk away/
I cannot convince you, no matter what I do or say/
So, I try to forget you. But, the memory remains/
Just for once, I wish that I could show you how I feel/
Holding nothing back, and leaving everything revealed/
'Cause you're the only thing left that is keeping me alive/
But, you're the biggest reason for all the pain that I feel inside/
You're the driving force behind everything I do/
Everything that I am, and everything that I want to be is because of you/
I try to bring myself to my senses, but I guess I'll never see/
That I'm living a dream, and I'm tryin' to make it a reality/


So, I try to open my eyes. But, I just can't wake up/
The way I'm living my life, deep down it's fucking me up/
Because I can't realize, and I just cannot see/
That everything that is you, has consumed everything that is me/
So, I try to divide. But, I can't seperate/
'Cause no matter how hard I try, I can't divide myself from my fate/
I can't divide myself from my fate/


I can't divide myself from my fate. I can't divide myself from you/
I need to find a way to escape, but I can't seem to break through/
How could my greatest blessing eventually become my biggest curse/
I wanna walk away, yet here I stay/
It's a condition that I can't reverse/
'Cause I'm living in a world of make believe/
Where nothing's really ever what it seems/
Left to sort through the pieces of my broken life/
Empty promises and shattered dreams/


So, I try to open my eyes. But, I just can't wake up/
The way I'm living my life, deep down it's fucking me up/
Because I can't realize, and I just cannot see/
That everything that is you, has consumed everything that is me/
So, I try to divide. But, I can't seperate/
'Cause no matter how hard I try, I can't divide myself from my fate/
I can't divide myself from my fate/


I... DON'T... WANT... YOU... I... DON'T... NEED... YOU... I... CAN'T... MAKE... YOU... GET.. A-... WAY... FROM... ME...

So, I try to open my eyes. But, I just can't wake up/
(I... DON'T... WANT... YOU...)
The way I'm living my life, deep down it's fucking me up/
(I... DON'T... NEED... YOU...)
Because I can't realize, and I just cannot see/
(I... CAN'T... MAKE... YOU...)
That everything that is you, has consumed everything that is me/
(GET.. A-... WAY... FROM... ME...)
So, I try to divide. But, I can't seperate/
'Cause no matter how hard I try, I can't divide myself from my fate/
I can't divide myself from my fate/

Tight Drop Dawg!

THis Had Real Emotion In It, a Genuine Desire To Get The Message Out!

You Had Dope Vocab, And Rhymes, ie..
"Here in a moment, then gone in an instant/
Ever so close, yet always off in the distance/

It Was A Good Length, Not Too Long! You Had Alot Of Brutal Bars, Heres A Few Of My Favourite:

Should I follow my dreams, or do I take the path of least resistance/
The pursuit of a love I've never known in my existance/
--------------------
I can't divide myself from my fate. I can't divide myself from you/
I need to find a way to escape, but I can't seem to break through/
--------------------
Just for once, I wish that I could show you how I feel/
Holding nothing back, and leaving everything revealed/

Overall: This Had A Great Concept To It, Can't Really See Much To IMprove it :) 8.5/10!

I'm really feelin dis....i can feel tha emotions...there was a lil' vocab here...

Thank you for the replies... keep em comin'... peace...

Don't Sleep On This Piece!

What's up RB? No matter how much time passes... people still sleep on this site... oh well. For those who've replied, I'd like to thank you for at least showin' the respect of posting a reply when you read. That's love... Peace

oooooooo , Nice shit man , u got skills dawg , This piece had a good meaning too it , U had a really Nice concept , and ur lyrics were onpoint..........Overall u get a 8/10...............Nice Piece P.diddy

LOL... naw. I ain't no Diddy... that's for sure. Thanks for the reply...

holy shit im speech less damn that awesome holy shit

dude that was excellent

Thanks... for the compliments... I appreciate that.... Glad y'all feelin' this so far... Peace...

Arise from the ashes...

a sincere rhyme is always successful but yours has it's on flare to it the content seams so real

It's time to rise....

Rise above the sleepers...

Nice drop fo' sho,emotion,vocab,wordplay,flow all there and more so thus it was a well worth a read dawg,good work.