Expiring Life...
 

Tick
Frozen
Tock
Panic
Tick
Blank
Tock
Love
Tick
Hot
Tock
Tears
Tick
Motion
Tock
Boom
Tick
Death

Shiznit's Thoughts:


Way abstract than i thought...its like the whole set up was amazing...


i liked the 'tick tock' thing going on....

its a bomb that for every tick you would feel some extraordinary sights and feelings...and for every tock there's a reaction...

like in a movie....whenever there's like something's gonna blow up and then the whole slow motion thing makes it intense...

the suspenseful simplistic meaning of this writing definitely is great

...nice drop man..

I GUESS YOU WERE TIRED OR BORED AT THIS POINT IN YOUR LIFE..
stupid caps.....this was simple but it makes you feel like you gotta make somethin outta life when you feel like its slipping away...you got mad skillz an ive seen better from you but this was alright v

~Content~

/\ i aint feeling that at all, my 4 year old sister coulda said that

Whoa! WTF was that? I've never seen anything like this. it seems simple but the image it presents isn't. i liked it
peace

Heh. Don't just look at the structure. But how the words are placed.

Dunt matter, everyone has their opinions.

I'll explain a bit.

First meaning - two people who have been given a certain amount of time to live. One goes all wild, and goes all over the place. The other just freezes, lies blank right untill it's too late "motion"....boom is not exactly to do with a bomb. But more so depicting that their death has come, suddenly. You know, it's exploded...then death.

And then of course, you could see it like there's a bomb there.


The other one is life. One of them wastes his life away afraid, cold hermit like..right till the end, but then it's too late, as death comes for him. While the other is the opposite, active, lively, goes through the motions, yet dies the same. At the same time...

er...hope that helped.

Got to remember one thing. Poetry is more so simplicity that it is, complexity. For the simplicity put in a complex is usually ther most powerful and adhering thing...

..all comments appreciated (i mean ALL..inclusing illusionist..)...

"..all comments appreciated (i mean ALL..inclusing illusionist..)..."
^admirable since most peeps wood be like yo fuck you

i liked this as u said simplicity is poetry, in poetry theres no matter whether it is put into a complex frame and package the ideas are often the simplest jus gone into in depth. this piece was nice i enjoyed it, the simplicity made it an easy read but provided some nice imagry, im sure you have better since u seem well educated on poetry and ill be interested to see more from you....
much luv
1

^^Appreciated mis-tique. For 'understanding' (heh).

Oh, and i think one of me 'better' pieces are still on the front page (that sounded like a bit of a 'plug', didn't it?!)...

..resp...