....Life goes on...
 

I'm here im there im nowhere im lost in the mist/
whats it matter that im white behind a mic i dont even exist/
provided life on the real but still pain im concealed to feel/
day break tuns of mistakes rains all over the place its the cards ive been deal'd/
i'm not that kid back in elemtry giving you simpithy for your crys/
im that kid releaving the glock on the spot invisioning your demies/
Even though im out of control in still lookin through a peep hole to see what life behods/
Heart of gold in any situation i dug out of the critazism life at home was a prison/
lifes never been magic its always been tragic hates been a given/
u cant diss me until u walk in my shoes but u'll never beable to....u cant fit in em/
Eminem uses his life story to heat the fire on his mother an find his glory/
lifes like that arent even as hard as mine they simply bore me/
you ever had to run to school because kid wud take toys/
it such a shame this world nobody believes this torture an crys from young boys/
I'm only fifteen trying to raise surpreme but still searching for that ontario soccer team/
I am a typical teenager filled with anger destined to forfill my dreams/
sure you teaze laugh an hate, im glad though you help me take away my mistakes an recreate/
Destined to be a somebody its my fate, lifes basicaly creation ...mix the cake/
I'll try harder to go farther in life even its simply a pen its brings me to paridice/
you prolly wont even read this an settle the score that i want more in rap then juz a scoop of rice/
but im out with a bang with a 2 pac slang...life goes on...

you actually had a nice flow.
you content sucked to me. the
white emcee thing is gay. im
white, i'm an emcee, i hold mics
it doesn't matter. probably 75
percent of this board is white.
up your content you have
potential...pz


sand of night is my aim if you
want help.

^^Word^^

The Concept Did Suck, You Were Trying To Be Eminem Especially With This Line - "whats it matter that im white behind a mic i dont even exist"! Sounded Like His Role Model Song Or Whatever It's Called...

But You Had Decent Flow And Your Vocab Is Steadily Improving, Your Made Good Use Of Multi's Like - "sure you teaze laugh an hate, im glad though you help me take away my mistakes an recreate" - Even Though I Thought That line Was Pretty Weak!

Keep Improving, And Think Your Subject Throught Before You Spit, But Keep Them Coming - Overall: Needs Work!, 6/10

Thanks for the advie, an i'll try a another song later on today peace

thats all that needs to be said except the part about ME being white.

hit me back with my collab

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=63096

sorry man I gotta agree with the other heads your content was weak cos its all like...whatever your white and an emcee get over it. As they said ya flow was pretty good and ya had a nice rhyme scheme for the most part. Increase ya vocab and throw in a few multies and ya laughing. Anyway return the favour and check mine Hiroshima Judgement!

Peace