Pain
 

Pain
That's what you gave me
Pain
That's what made me

How can a thing like love be so painful
I love you at all types of angles
But there's a downside to you
You lie, even though I don't lie to you
I love you, always willing to stay
But I can't when you abuse me everyday
You abuse me with your language
Causing me so much painage

Look at what you did
My black eyes
The red marks on my thighs
The stab mark in my heart
The ripping my soul apart

What did I do?
I stayed with you
Tried to believe you loved me
When you really disgusted me
I tried to make myself believe you were the one
I left
But the pain you gave me can never be undone

Pain
That's what you gave me
Pain
That's what made me

Shiznit's Thoughts:

this hasnt much anything on it but it was simple enough to make ur reader understand what u were trying to imply on this one...

the simplistic way of showing ur talent is good but u might choose to write with longer lines..it would be better...

nice drop..keep em droppin!

First of all, welcome to RB....
great piece...i enjoyed it a lot...the emotion really shows through with your delivery.... hope this isnt something written from experience...
Respect and Love

everything thy said, full of emotion, hate to be hypercritical, but i don't think "painage" is a word. i don't know, excellent piece overall
peace

no painage isn't a word....i checked already.....that was just me being creative....i always come up with new words in the process....lol though

Simple, strong and to the point.

The message read raw yet with pure heartfelt emotions.

Good for what it was...

..resp..

I really enjoyed your drop, it takes courage to write with such honesty. As simple as the message was, it really regerstered as pure with me. I assume your writting from expereince, and to be so open about your most personal hurts, really makes me look forward to reading more from you. It's not eveyday someone can be so openly honest about true human emotion caused by pain.

One suggestion: instead of aiming the message at him, re target and aim it at you, or the person who was hurt, so it's more of a warning. that's jsut my suggestion, I think it would reach out to more in that form. Well I look forward to more post's.

Bounced outta here<------