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- Poetic Scriptures (http://community.rapverse.com/forumdisplay.php?f=9)

- - Tears (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=65299)

[ First Time ... Go Easy On Me Guys ... ]

One smile hides a hundred tears
I have been cryin too long
Been sad for too many years
People think that they know the real me
But in reality all you see
Is this fake image I have created
It's been updated and over rated

These Tears I have cried
Have left marks on my cheeks
Been depressed and unhappy
These past few weeks

I have been hated and talked about
Been liked then faked out
Been hugged and felt loved
Then stabbed in the back and made fun of

When will it all stop?
When will this torture end?
When will I make not an enemy, but a friend?
When will I be able to smile and show my teeth?
When will I be able to stop crying and start to breathe?

Quote:

Originally posted by XEastSide_QueenX
[ First Time ... Go Easy On Me Guys ... ]

One smile hides a hundred tears
I have been cryin too long
Been sad for too many years
People think that they know the real me
But in reality all you see
Is this fake image I have created
It's been updated and over rated
([B]this was a good entrance i think i shows how you really feel and the way u describe it it gives sum sort of mental picture

These Tears I have cried
Have left marks on my cheeks
Been depressed and unhappy
These past few weeks(same as last time good describin u can jus picture the tear marks)

I have been hated and talked about
Been liked then faked out
Been hugged and felt loved
Then stabbed in the back and made fun of(i know da feelin so i can relate to this peaice on that part that was interestin choice of words

When will it all stop?
When will this torture end?
When will I make not an enemy, but a friend?
When will I be able to smile and show my teeth?
When will I be able to stop crying and start to breathe?

good ending all around i think this was a good peice i would give it a 6/10 good job

An honest simplicity that appealed to me. Especially as it was your 'first' time.

Oh, and rounded off well. A good piece to build upon in the future.

..resp....