first rhyme<CRITIQUE away>>>>.>
 

the essence of my presence is an extention of my mind/the electric connections plant conceptions in time/introspective reflections show me to climb/while you slowly decline/my prophetic perceptions keep me sublime/mile a minute mind time keeps on movin'/so tell me once again what makes you think im human/for you naieve robots this is your only conclusion/ im more like a fusion of mind and machine/i fell from the sun and im blinding the scene/rewinding time and dividing the seas/ripping the seams and finding my means/while your hiding in trees ,denying your dreams/im shining and rhyming like veteran emcee's/who chanell energies, and synergy/i spit imagery to display mental purity in perfect symetery/ lyrically and spiritualy,it's clear to me,you lack clarity/clouded concepts connect less than rarely/merrily,merrily life is but a dream/it's rarely played fairely/it's up hill and up stream like it or lump it hit me back

therez nothin to critique, it was good in my opinion....not that it matters or anything

thanx

this wasnt your first time so dont even try to say it

flowed nice, good vocab u could of dun betta on lenth tho. keep it up.
"i fell from the sun and im blinding the scene"
luved dat line^^
peace~roX~

very nice drop, i also dont believe this was your first piece lol, maybe on this site, or u worked on it at home or something, but if your truly a newbie, u couldn't come up with that, very nice tho

very very ...............

nice

ok well i was expecting to be able to come in here and actually critique somethin but its obvious this isnt really your first time. but ya good post even if this was your 1000th.