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-   -   Red Eyed Ramble (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=66017)

Da NFamous 07-15-03 10:40 PM

Red Eyed Ramble
 
Creation thru end why wastin time wit the elimination of kin
Stop chasin the superficial loop the initial inclination of sin
Flow freely like a drop spill red like the sign stop let ur mind a loose
Circle the truth hurtin ya smarts like lurking then murking the tooth
Edify the wisened mage put crimson tides of rage within the eyes of age
Never die tire or wage war on another let pain forever lie in “veign”
Feel with a rich and loaded heart always start where what u knowd just parts
Control your goals and let flow the rose stowed behind a corroded heart
The flowin sparks emotional depths untapped by a weakened and waning mind
and swaying rhyme while attaining the taming of time and restraining the light of lime
predict ur next day by looking at tommorows yesterday and yesterdays future
brewing hate raising contusions to ur frame of mind by erasing memories ur losing
love is blind shadow cast by joy brewing with frail and feeble wishes against
niggas commence and flow hence with anger instead of sadness trapped in blissful arrest
stealthy seething evil looms like breathing ether fumes eating our leading ladies wombs
feeding of impeding doom speeding the weeding taking heed to a baby’s tomb
this shit is crazy just tippin the berg of ice unheard and nice
burn and turn dice gambling with hell on wether people will see the words I write

holla back, 1luv.

Crash 07-16-03 12:00 PM

Wack

SUBTEXT

Yes, i want you to wack my posterior with a giant dildo. No you say? Oh well, i'll save me pennies for a rent boy...

Da NFamous 07-16-03 08:20 PM

^^newbies
 
i should rip u but ur not worth it, God bless brotha, any feedback? 1luv.

varentao 07-16-03 08:56 PM

This was intriguing. Though had it's off points, i was in more ways encapsulated by it. I like these kind of pieces as well as more simpler ones. Kind of abstract in how you wrote it, covering the meaning and what is 'really' being said in cryptic construction of words.

At first i thought it was a 'stand back and look' commentary on the corrosion of society. Concentrating on the run down areas where men play women and when they get pregnant. They run. The life that comes from it enters and becomes part of the vicious circle. Along those lines...

Then i thought it was also maybe a more general commentary. You know, the same problems but in different levels of society, so varying in extremity. But especially concentrating on the fucked up parts and people.

Either way, that's what i got out of it. Was one of those pieces.

..resp...

Da NFamous 07-16-03 09:15 PM

^your precision is awe inspiring, thanks a many man, 1luv.

MC Rory Breaker 07-16-03 10:49 PM

This was good, somewhat spotty, but you still had a nice base. It seemed like a lot of stuff really stuck out, while other parts were disinteresting. It would be better to have an even piece than a fluctuating piece.

Also, I forgot to say this, I really liked the title for some reason.

Da NFamous 07-17-03 11:01 PM

^thanks for your opinions, respect, 1luv.


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