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-   -   Survivor (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=66821)

Caramac 07-19-03 01:42 PM

Survivor
 
TOPIC: Your on a plane to enjoy a vacation with your wife/girlfriend/fiancee. Your on your way to the Bahamas when the planes engines start smoking and the plane crashes. When you awake your the only one alive and your stuck on an island by yourself. What do you do? Progress...




Thunder crackled. .engine failed, we were going down
I blacked out. Next thing i remember was coming round. .

...Gradually i stood. . my sickened stomach in knots
Bodies scattered, shoulders hunched, w/ holes in their guts
bones crushed beneath the wreckage, passengers neglected
Most of them id never met and yet i felt strangely connected.
Thoughts swept in my head as i bled, searched for survivors
But all i found was despare and bodies piled cold and lifeless.
My mind switched off as i turned over the body infront of me
Only to uncover the Scolded Flesh on the Face Of my Family
It got Harder To Breath as the Petrol Smoke Filled My Lungs
Reality Sunk In, Chances are - only id Survived The Outcome.
Try Picturing A Field Of Blood, Scattered w/ Shrapnel Shaves
Bodies twisted out of shape and with no help of being saved.
The only way id escape this Nightmare was a Rescue Service
so i gathered various metals and wood to help aid my purpose.
Hours passed as i worked spelling out "HELP" on the beach
in letters 8 feet high . . hoping passing helicopters would see.
Eventually i gave up hope, hours had passed but to no avail
Darkness settled in, i was forced to spend the night in this hell.
Hollow inside, i swallowed my pride and slept among the dead
Mentality Broke. . i was too shook to Pay any sort of Respect.
Broke into a cold sweat, isolated . . stomach on empty, yet...
The only Sourse of Food available to me was human Flesh.
Arms and legs lay motionless - a painted canvas of suffering
Shivers of Hate, tears Wither and Fade into Pools of Nothing.

Four days later. .

So i Sit, Watch and Wait . . Staring At The Interface
In a Shield of pain, hungry, vision faded, eyes glazed.
Weaker by the Second, Dehidrated . . my Last Stand
and what your reading are the words of a dieing man. .



Peace!

WOOSHY 07-19-03 01:59 PM

hay cam nice drop dogg lines flowed well, intresting concept, the story line was sum what unusal but i liked it, peep this dogg http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=66819
much apperatied Woosh

Caramac 07-19-03 02:27 PM

^ Will Do. .

9 Millimeter 07-19-03 02:51 PM

yo nice shit

Caramac 07-19-03 03:15 PM

^ carefull with the one word replies, Sand will bann you. .

Caramac 07-20-03 03:40 PM

^ Thats Werd...

ToNe-E 07-20-03 04:46 PM

bones crushed beneath the wreckage, passengers neglected
Most of them id never met and yet i felt strangely connected.

Nice .. ^

Worded dope, i liked this .. it had some cool imagaries ..
i felt like i was there .. ;) good job sweety .. multi's were
pretty nice, vocab good .. and you stayed on the topic
well, what else can i say .. you wrote a iLL open mic bro ..

Good Job .. :)

Caramac 07-20-03 04:50 PM

Gyeah! I Got Props From Mister Tone! Im Now Dope : )

WORD~PERFECT 07-20-03 04:55 PM

you captured an emotion that one can only assume was ging throught the minds of the individuals in that situaution that is real talent pa this was by far top notch wrk if you have time peep my drop ORDO ABACHO

Caramac 07-21-03 10:17 AM

Damn you 28 views and 4 replies. .

Caramac 07-21-03 07:08 PM

Uping so dao can reply : )

triztwarrior 07-21-03 07:23 PM

Sorry i didnt reply sooner,
That was some dope shit you dropped there,
Peace

Caramac 07-22-03 02:35 PM

^ Cheers Bro. .

MiCsYcKlE 07-22-03 04:51 PM

this was a banger
9/10

keep it up

BlUnT-MC 07-22-03 05:01 PM

ok, .. I thought it was good... personally topicals aren't my usual "cup of tea" or what have you, but this was a'ight.. I did like the really great imagery you used, I could almost smell the char'd flesh of my family (mmmmmm).. I didn't like the spelled help Idea, not very origional, you watched ummm, I forget the movie.. with tom hanks.. lol.. over all I'd say it was worth reading, but I've deffinately seen better from you.. check out my shit..


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