Burnside at the Waterfront
 

Seven years old sitting at the Blanchet
Innocence is lost in sorrowful little eyes
Neighbors bickering over stolen property
Ignorant to a childs failing cries
Attention is sought but Father is gone
Mother drowning in her bottle
Nobody knows he is there even the parents
Hold their place in line, save a spot
How many more men will mother love?
So sad, depressed at this age
Suicide already crossed but held back by rage
Anyone out there that loves?
Still waiting for Father, He loves, right?
What else to do? toothless role models say "Cowboy up!"
Is this my life in my eyes? Of what i'm to achieve?
By the Love of God by twenty years old i'm still here
Real life from the life of someone who has been there

a yo where u go? i'm from 503 too

At least comment on the piece. Instead of just asking a question.


Onto the piece.

Gritty and real. The imagery and meaning was strong, and i most definetly dig wha it is being said.

It had an 'on the edge' like style which was executed quite well.

Felt the ending could've been done better, but the meaning was there.

..resp..

PS

If you want more replies, reply to other peoples pieces.

thanx fo the reply cuz. im holding down Portland, and for those that dont know im from the streets, i've been there, but now im comin back up, to tell you the truth i dont hae computer access all the time, im on a public computer

come on y'all holla back i need to be critiqued