.. iF Only This Were a Dream ..
 

If Only This Were A Dream


Everydays a nightmare, im lost in a glimpse of dreams..
So i wait till i die, not to rest, but to wake up in peace..
im sinking, and everyone in this world lets me be, as i..
Drown deeper in this ocean of sin, everytime i breath..
My lungs burst and rip, inside i cant help but to give in..
Chokin at the bottom since no one taught me how to swim..
im out of it .. every second ticks, and soon my faith bleeds
i watch my friends and family reach out, to suffercate me
So slowly, i fade away to the dark as i close my eyes..
i got what i wanted, cause you never fully live, until you die..
And now i realize, my skins a barrier ..and beneath are lies..
im ready for hell, only to find, this hell flashes in my mind..
its like, the deepest image, played over millions of times..
And mine, was my moms face, as she heard the news and cried..
Erase it outta my mind .. now, i beg you, erase it please..
Dear god help me wake up .. but if only .. if only, it were a dream..

Drop links i'll reply ..
and give you the same
quality reply you give
me ..

Yo this was Nice man...It had a nice concept too it....U stayed on topic...the content of this was also nice....

And now i realize, my skins a barrier ..and beneath are lies..
im ready for hell, only to find, this hell flashes in my mind..
^^^Favorite Line...Really liked that ish

i hope too read more from u.......i give this a 9/10
If it was longer I would nominate it into R-B LEegend
Return da favour http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=66935

word bash, nice reply

Tone. this was very nice. i felt it all
the way through...your flow is always
very strong and you used some
nice word usage that made this piece
all the better.


My lungs burst and rip, inside i cant help but to give in..
Chokin at the bottom since no one taught me how to swim..
im out of it .. every second ticks, and soon my faith bleeds
i watch my friends and family reach out, to suffercate me

^ that's dope as fuck ^

espescially that last line....damn..

are you going to enter the topical league?
you could do well ;)....great job...pz

Thanks .. :)

Dope Shit Mister Tone ...

Flow Was Nice, Content Nice ... Nice Peice Kiddo ..




Nice ...pz

Nice piece Tony, flow was dope, nice
take on this topic actually, good rhyme
scheme, nicel=y structured, internals
and externals helped witht he flow, as
did your multi's. There were a couple
lines i felt were quoteable, but bash
mentioned my fave one, this was a
dope opener though:

^Great way to open the piece up, set the tone nicely, good imagery, a nice little in-depth set up and flow was dope.

Nice piece my man, i just wish it was longer : (

Props.

i thought this well composed would be an even better audio flow.you have a nack for doing what poetets thrive on and that is placing the indvidual right there with you that was very tight work i hope to see more from you.

Thanks .. ^ :)

:) NIccaz up

This was fuckin ill. Yeah it was short, but to me it felt like maybe it was supposed o be short, cuz maybe if it was longer then it couldve messed up the piece.It had a good flow, nice structure, didn't have crazy vocabulary that wouldv'e fucked up my whole mind. It was a good drop. Lookin to see more from you

My lungs burst and rip, inside i cant help but to give in..
Chokin at the bottom since no one taught me how to swim..
im out of it .. every second ticks, and soon my faith bleeds
i watch my friends and family reach out, to suffercate me
So slowly, i fade away to the dark as i close my eyes..
i got what i wanted, cause you never fully live, until you die..


peep my piece If I ruled The World
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=67169

thanx ^

Good sh it,liked tha hole thing,very poetic and a good drop dawg.