First Post!
 

Hey everyone, this is my first txt rap. Please be honest, if it is crap, say it! anyway hope someone likes it.

This bitch is asking me to invade her bum,
but that aint a way i like to cum,
Never done it before, dont think i ougtha,
cos as sure as hell, her eyes are gonna water,
and she wud hate it if it was her daughter.

Mother or Daughter, which am i gonna choose,
Older or Younger, what am i gonna do,

I like older women, 40 plus,
I really love it when she sucks,
She uses her tongue, its very nice,
It drives me wild, i think im gonna cum twice.

I wont get teased if i go for the daughter,
but to her mum, she is much younger,
less experienced, doesnt know what she is doing,
instead of sucking, she maybe CHEWING!!!!

thanks for reading this, and please tell me ur true opinion!
Cheers

lol... it sucked.. but it was funny to read... you'll elevate, 'cause you deff. have creativity... just work on your flow.. and vocab, 'cause damn.. if you ust the word bum describing anything but a homeless person, your vocab is low...

cheers BlUnT-MC, thanks for the advice, i will keep working on it! cheers

lol was funny n fun, but baisc na mean, BUT dont panic, contstruction was iight u just gotta elivate alot in vocab n muiltis n meta n all, BUT that comes natureally, what ya gotta do is accept advise (n u askin for it) so looks like ya can n change slowely,,, dont be thinkin ma shit is dope n thats it cuzzz ma shit, any1s shit is always can be improved,,,, respect playa

cheers zainy, im taking all of this down! by the way, nice shit on fuck everybody! thanks again!

^word

WAS DECENT ENOUGH TO READ.I LIKED IT

Cheers word~perfect. im working on it, i have a beat to go with it, i just need to know how to put the beat to the lyrics! i really wanna get a demo sorted, see what everyone thinks, if its good, i will send it somewhere, that may listen to it, maybe let me have some studio time and sign me up! i really wanna do this!

No.

Lmmfao! You herbs are crazy, seriously.
Damn, this was funny simply because of
how wack it was, it had no real topic, no
emotion, not rhyme pattern, no wordplay
, no quoteables, nothing! The whole thing
was just structured horribly, w/ the most
simplistic style ive seen in ages.

Funny though i guess. : )

ok ok ok

defualt, hit me up on msn messenger or something, and ill teach you rap, it will be convenient cus im from the uk as well (CHESTA P WILL RIP YOU EMCEES)

oxigin1@hotmail.com

although, on 2nd thoughts where u takin da piss?

i wasnt grafix, it was my first rap online, i just wanted to see what everyone thought about it, and for them to tell me the bad points, so i can work on it! i will hit you up later, im getting my bitch to help me on it, she's very good! if i need help afterwards i will contact ya, Thank you for everyones opinion, and for their advice, it will help me to elevate! Cheers again