My Moms Grave
 

my mom was a killa a thug-
doin shit 23 yr old moms,shouldn't be capable of/
when i was just alil baby boy, my mom me and my grandma were leavin chi-town/
becuz the heat was on/
we drove up to a corner-when a rival recongnized and had a strap-on/
he pulled it out-my mom gave a shout-"get down"-i heard the same sound-3 times/
my mom went in reverese and got shot in the head-
he pulled her out-unloaded the clip till he thought she was dead/
then pulled my grandma out-stabbed her in da chest/
he didn't see me cuz - but i thought i was next/
at this time i was 4, and i went to a foster home-
i wished my dad coulda got me out-i wasn't gon' pout/
cuz i knew he was in jail for life-my mom always said he'd get out/
that he had a direct route-but i knew it was lie-
so i would put my pillow on my head and cry-
couldn't anyone get me,couldn't they see what ive been through/
i always wiped away my tears-
my grandpa got me when i was 7,
he was the first face i was happy to see in 3 years/
i was disaponited cuz he couldn't always feed me- he was to poor/
there was never any "more"/just what u had/so i started chillen at humboldt park-i met some of the Latin Kings after dark/
i started to make mad cash by sellin coke-these niggas in the kings wasn't no joke/
at 14 they asked me to join there gang-i said naw ill continue to slang/
at 15 i joined da kings-what i did for them was horrible things/
i started to get locked up all the time-me n some of my boys started to rhyme/
i got to the age of 16-droped out of highschool-thought i was so cool/
got locked up for 2 yrs/i got out at 18-now i was even more mean/i finally just got off house arrest-got knife fight scars all up on my chest/
went to visit my mommas grave at 19-the sadness i had to pave-one of the saddest things ive seen...

this is my life story and its a sad thing to talk about- all of its true...if u dun believe me- FUCK U

long, but ill shit. I liked it. It was unique, your own personal story, nice style and good lyrics. Id give it a B+. One

Nice spit...

Had some dope feelin...

Stay on track, cuz...

Fuckin with that gangsta shit will leave ya temperature cold...

And I ain't talkin bout being cold...

Talkin bout feelin cold.

As in dead.

Peace

Rhyming/Flow
Was Good, The Flow Was Dope In Some PLaces, And You Experimented With Interbar RHyming...6/10

Vocab/Wordplay
Could Have Been A But Better, Try To Expand Your Vocab, And Experiment With Wordplay Too...Average ... 4/10

Concept/Topic
You Had A Deep Feelin' Here, You had A Deep Concept. But I Found That It Was Blacked Out By The Gangsta IMage, You KNow. As You Elevate You'll Find That Gangsta IMage Isn't The way Too Go! Keep Up The Deep,Emotional Topics..7/10

Overall
Was PLagued With Some Bad Flow n' Lack of Vocab, 6/10 Could Have Been Much Better..BUt You'll Get There!

Word!

NICE SPIT BUT UR FLOW COULD BE BETTA AND YOU SHOULD STAY ON UR SUBJECT OTHER THAN THAT NO REAL CRITIZIMS KEEP GOIN

thanks all but that lost comment, i did stay on track the whole time i told u about my life in lil pieces not one whole drop...
keep givin the feedback fellas, ill spit some more shit about my life.

uppin