War Cry
 

Life lost in the blink of an eye
Causes a whole nation to cry
But why
Cuz we cant be civilized
When someone gets pist someone else dies
If u got a problem bring it face to face
Not innocent people man wat a disgrace
Adults say damn kids these dayz
Least we settle shit in different wayz
Dont need to kill someone to get shit through
Maybe a fight but u gotta do wat u gotta do
But never to the extent of killin someone
Especially not thousands of the innocent ones
But wat else is new with the fighting today
Fuck fighting, I say we sit back and pray
Cuz if people keep acting the way they do
Wont be long the whole world will be through
So strait up this is my message to you
Settle shit some other way
Then maybe everyone can live to see another day
Then after the tragedy u fukkers celebrate
I cant wait to see ur horrible ending fate
But all im sayin is calm all this bullshit
Then maybe it will get better Maybe just a bit
But not until we learn to fukkin get along
Not tryin to be all tough and strong
Wouldnt need guns and bombs if we could just talk
Maybe then not take the walk
Down the shadows of death
Maybe live to breath one more breath
PEACE

*I liked this piece*

Your flow was smooth, the content was deep, and your message very important. I liked your approach, you did not come off as over heated, but concerned...Good job,,

I would suggest you use better imagery, emotion was good, but it would have been elevated a notch with some vivid imagery.

Keep up the post's, I'll be watching for your work...


*Bounce has left the building*...

i liked it u made ur pont clear n simple n in a concerning way u didnt come in heat like bounce said structur was good flow was good all in all damn good drop ill kep n eye out for ur stuff ( i like ur work defaced)

Thanx for the posts i appreciate it. Thanx for the suggestions bounce i'll work on the imagery. It's kinda hard write now got some blockidge. But aight that enough Peace