Father And Mother
 

Doing one thing telling me another
Is that a good way to be a father and mother
Being hipacritical with your rules
Making urself look like fools
But nothin I can do to change you
Nothin I can ever say or do
Once ur minds on somethin its stuck
Im sick of this shit I just dont give a fukk
U wonder why I always argue and shit
Ur always fukkin bitchin throwing a fit
Never listen to the things I say
Just put it off and ignore wat u may
But nothin I can do to change ur way
Wat happens tommorow depends on today
Cant rewrite this injustice now served
The rules in ur books are all fukkin curved
Never a strait thing always changing
Switched around doubled and re-arranging
Flipped around and turned inside out
I wanna get in ur face and scream and shout
Cant cuz u say wat u say stands
Hits me deep inside the shot lands
Shit u say is starting to infect
Goes in and starts to re-direct
Changing the way i feel about things
Feels like my life is attached to strings
Being pulled by the fukkin puppet master
Shit is turning into a disaster
Things gettin fukked up again
All I want is just to win
Then I realize things wont
And things dont
So I just sit back and try to look up to better things
And maybe get detached from the stringz
But I don’t think its happening anytime soon
My minds blowing up popped just like a balloon
Filling up w/ these fukked up thoughts
Creeping inside then my mind rots
Starts to decay with every thought
And to think I coulda just fought
But I didn’t so I guess I cant bitch
But it would be nice to have some things switch

wow!
nice peiic. it was raw true and held a viscural detatchment that landed the poem inside of a well written catigoryyy. at first i thought it was just another aingst peiiice. but as I read on it held more correct emotion in the sence in which it was written. inside the curses and imagrys. I was satisfied at the end. and thats what you want with that type of peiiice. keep it up!

I think you could have done some things idfferent here. It is a great topic, and the message has great potential, I just thinks it was a little soft. You could have used more imagery, and turn up the emotion... Emotion wa there, but very little rushe out at me. The flow was good, but overall the piece was simple. Needs more complexity and elevation. I have seen some of your drops, you are capable, just reach for it. Great message, and goos flow...

Respect...

thanx for the posts this is something i wrote like over a year ago so i've progressed. Thanx for the insight bounce i like hearing good things from somebody i respect. Peace

Your very welcome, we are all here to elevate and if not, get the fuck out....That's my attitude, keeping it real, and comming hard every single drop... If I don't then someone please interviene...

bounce has it all right i would type my coments but y waist ur time.
bounce i agree with ya all the way