4 in da morning
 

another late night freestyle from yourz truly...

another night I can't-sleep I tried but them damn-sheep somehow ended up turning to a splatter of blood-on-the-wall//
fuck-all-of-y'all cause I can't even get a bitch to suck-on-my ballz//

I've witnessed the many facez of God-in-a-tomb... my head nodz-from-the-schoomz I gotta-make-room to slice my brain so all my pain can seep out of my bodily-woundz//

now as my butcher'z knife starts slowly grazin'-ya-flesh//
I ripped off the many facez-of-death opened my mouth and took a taste-of-what's-left//

I am what will be of the game... fuck-what-it-is//
when I die from slit wrists hip hop legendz will pass my blood-to-they-kidz

my name livez forever...I'ma still be rockin'-when-I'm-dead//
you may have thoughts of kickin' my ass but I have thoughts of playin' soccor-with-ya-head//

Lmao, the mutli's were forced to hell, lines were stretched so your flow was off, nothing id really quote, the whole 'break up in between lines' is wack, makes you look like a herb, dont do it, and the // thing is to make sure the bars are even, why use it when your bar lengths are all over the place?!

This piece was pretty weak IMO, very basic rhyming and you need to learn how to use REAL multi's first. This was pretty wack, but i'll put it down to it being a keystyle. .

Edited: Reply To Mine: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=70212

Lines were funny as hell... LOL... the flow did seem a little off though... might just be the way it reads out in text... nice though...

"my name livez forever...I'ma still be rockin'-when-I'm-dead" why did you use the word rockin, is it just showing movement or like rock music?

yeah funny line but the mlt's dint flow.....................

P.S Camarac check ur ppm box please do somethign about its unfair and wack and its imbrassing on my behalf

I don't know...it seemed to flow pretty well when I was readin' it last night...but then again...it was at 4 in da morning and I just typed this cause I was bored...so it was basically whatever just popped in my head...

I check some of ya piecez and I ain't seen no REAL multiez... and my multiez weren't forced you just might not of caught my flow...cause sometimez...especially late at night I tend to cheange my flow after every bar... and I use the // thingz so y'all would try to catch the flow and so y'all could find the rhymez...I could give 2 shits how the verse is set up...that shit don't matter once a verse is spit...

no...I don't listen to rock music...rockin' is like bumpin'...I can't explain it for the rich suburban kidz...but listen to some real hip hop shit like KRS-1 and you might better understand the definition...and for y'all that can't catch my flow and say that the multiez don't rhyme...keep in mind that I think that my flow is unique and I'm used to typin' my shit so that I'm the only person that need to be able to catch my flow...and I also got an accent cause I'm a Brooklynite...so us New Yorkaz can get away with makin' wordz rhyme that other people can't...lol...prime example listen to Mobb Deep...lol

Not bad man little forced but not bad..

lol.....What You Doin Up At 4 In The Morning, Playa? lol. This Was Ight For The Morning, But Man If You Was Wide Awake And Wrote Dis, It Would Be Wack As Hell.
Your Flow Was Good, But Some Of The Multis Messed It Up, Even Though You Had Some Good Multis...

Vocab Was Low, But Prolly Cuz You Werent Thinkin To Hard Then.
Anyways,
Overall- 7/10

see...she understandz the boredom from which this rhyme was wrote...

Damn son this is funnier than tha other one.

thanks Mastermind...never can have too much feedback...lol

this is for tha straight insomniacs who got bags under thier eyes, and bags stashed in thier socks...

pretty good verse... a little crazy but that's always a good thang...

peace...

finally someone that understabdz my stugglez...lol...thanks for da feedback god...