5:12 am
 

and yet another late night/early morning off the dome-piece...


I'll stab-ya-back blast-ya-ass when I'm packin' gats I'll snatch-ya-cash//
faggot-ass you a "son-of-a-bitch" damn now I'm a "bastidz-dad"//

mentally suffering from insomnia makes me a manic my brain'z-attacked by my cranium-packed with thoughts of smackin' you wit' a titanium-bat//

insanely-attached to the gat as I ask you to explain-why-you-wack//
I came to the game-with-an-ax...when my rhymez get stuck in ya head it meanz I had ya brain-as-a-snack//
don't sleep mufuckaz cause I'll catch you while you takin'-a-nap// please refrain-from-ya-acts or I'ma be layin'-ya-flat with blood stainz-on-ya-back//

I own control of ya mind until every single demon-is-shot// the freindly thief-of-the-block who would gladly leave-with-ya-watch and for the critics watch the flow..I could give a flyin' fuck if my linez are even-or-not//

to put it nicely...all the haterz can slob-my-crotch//
here'z da deal...you got a "watch with rocks" and you can watch me "rock-ya-watch"...

Re: 5:12 am
 

is anybody out there?!?!?!

I'll stab-ya-back blast-ya-ass when I'm packin' gats I'll snatch-ya-cash//
faggot-ass you a "son-of-a-bitch" damn now I'm a "bastidz-dad"//

Nice multies and rhyme scheming there and I can't figure out what that metaphor is tryna say....

mentally suffering from insomnia makes me a manic my brain'z-attacked by my cranium-packed with thoughts of smackin' you wit' a titanium-bat//

Nice multies again....

insanely-attached to the gat as I ask you to explain-why-you-wack//
I came to the game-with-an-ax...when my rhymez get stuck in ya head it meanz I had ya brain-as-a-snack//

Good multies and a nice bar...

don't sleep mufuckaz cause I'll catch you while you takin'-a-nap// please refrain-from-ya-acts or I'ma be layin'-ya-flat with blood stainz-on-ya-back//

Multies, multies and more multies....A lil imagery too...

I own control of ya mind until every single demon-is-shot// the freindly thief-of-the-block who would gladly leave-with-ya-watch and for the critics watch the flow..I could give a flyin' fuck if my linez are even-or-not//

More multies...Lol nice bar there and nice punch to tha critics....

to put it nicely...all the haterz can slob-my-crotch//
here'z da deal...you got a "watch with rocks" and you can watch me "rock-ya-watch"...

multies....nice way to flip tha last line....

Overall, your multies were on point with ya rhyme scheming...Good work....8/10

^^^thanks for the feedback man...

and a bastard is a child without a father...so I think you can figure the rest out from there...lol

I know that but that's either saying you fucked his mom and she is tha "bitch" or your basically calling ya self a bitch....

tis was an o.k drop, i liked it, you had multi's which was really what shined in this piece, you had some good metaphors here and there, nothing spectacular but it was good enough for a constructive piece.
off the dome, of course I know this was a keystyle, but i write off my dome every open mic that iv'e posted in my life, no editing, so all my open mics are just keystyles. Good shit, i post keystyles like this to excess shit off my mind, overall i liked this shit, hopin to read more from you, and please return the favor and peep my new piece called "rage of a mortal" i'm lookin for some good criticism or whatnot.
pz...

it meanz I fucked and ducked...lol...it also meanz that I sonned him

still uppin' for feedback...