Unfinished... lookin for suggestions.
 

Hey, I've been working on this poem, but I'm not sure what direction to take from here. I'm welcome to any comments or suggestions. Thanks.

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Take my hand and lead me
To a place that's beyond time
A faraway dimension
A place with true serenity
Full of hope, love and desire

A land with no disturbances
Just peace, and flickering fires
The flames will dance,
Mirroring your desire
Reflecting in your eyes

I watch them glimmer and sparkle
Captivating me in trance...

i would finish it add more structure an a lil more flow with some stronger vocab and ya got a hell of a piece

my advice finish it

..resp..

that pretty cool what you got going on there for a poem, although that's not really what I write about. So I'm afraid I can't help you.

Thanks guys. I'm just gonna keep readin over it and try to step it up a bit.