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Up and Over!
i close eyes and ears to the surrounding noise
but it pierces my soul and mentally destroys 'All deploy!' shatters my peace in a moment fear gripped my conscience and all became frozen 'It's open!' the general cried and i faced the lead clambering over rotten flesh i followed the Med A shower of red greeted my on rush to safety comrades fell like dominoes and death faced me but fate intervened tripping my feet for life bullets zipped overhead i had bailed the price i conquered might and crawled to the next trench shells beat my ear drums and my hearing wrenched these explosives hell sent test my nerves to destruction i stumble over mud empty guns and see nothing in ruptions the barbed wires of sanity dissapear mind fuckery blurs fill my visions tears blackout nears and the last view is an ally riddled blood spattered on khaki as the death toll filled a bitter pill i awoke to swallow it staring at the heavens cloud passed by I was alive! deaths connection severed i was under the weather and rose to a repeat life shouting and arsenals firing reminded me of the strife no one noticed my sight blank stares met my gaze i wiped my brow and saw blood on palms face thats strange...i tasted the pain to check its real glancing down i feel....a perfect hole of blood congealed i collapse and kneel metal had ripped veins seal gushing on pulse it spurts over my army shield i have nothing to wield as my heart bleeds and cries enemy fire extinguished my flame...and i joined compatriots sides pain numbed the feeling and slowly i died |
This Was Good...I Liked The Topic You Put Down About War...You Gave A Descriptive Graphic Detail...It Was Very Good...
Flow Was Good And Nice Use Of Multi's... A shower of red greeted my on rush to safety comrades fell like dominoes and death faced me Them Lines Were Very Good...Nice Description Of What Happens And Emotion...'Greeted My Rush To Safety'... Very Nice Piece... |
uppin
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i was gonna quote those lines......damn u mystik anyways i was feelin his whole verse u stayed on topic gave great detail..another one of fgee's 10/10 topics :) lol
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The Flow Here Was Dope, You had Kilal Multi's IN here..It Was Smooth All The Way Through, Never Fell Off Once.
LOved The Topic, You Described The Actions n' Emotions Throughout, Thats What Made It Readable...You Didn't Fall Off, Kept On it... "a bitter pill i awoke to swallow it staring at the heavens cloud passed by I was alive! deaths connection severed" - LOved That Line, NIce Wordplay.. Overall: 9/10 |
ur flow was on.. ur wordplay good.. ur imagery even better..
9/10 |
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good shit here fgee,liked it m8,topicals are ur strong point i feel,good shit.
Peace |
Fgee bro that was Ill...too bad this is getting slept on
Props to u on this one imagery was great and just very damn good way to teel it...... props |
all i gotta say waz...................
dat waz some tite shit made resoect and props |
vote=fgee........sick wordplay...sick imagery....sick topic.......sick
bastard.............good job....... |
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