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-   -   Evolution (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=72038)

Tourniquet 08-09-03 09:11 AM

Evolution
 
So, mankind survives
Frantic for breath
As hope dies –
Suffocating humanity.
Desperation floods the world
Giving birth to an epidemic of fear.
Hate conquers us all,
Whilst love is lost..
Revenge easily becomes the answer
Alas, the questions are wrong.
So, united – We die
A little death each day
Watching, as the world bathes in blood.
Slowly, peace is distinguished
Replaced by a new holocaust-
Modern Man.
Suicidal by nature,
Our own unmerciful Lucifer-
Hates creation.
Bred from sadness, the bringer of grief
Damning us, Entwined
As we kill each other-
My brothers, my sisters..

An angels breath
A willows whisper
A tear drops

As we kill each other.

prophiit 08-09-03 09:36 AM

I liked the piece it kinda took me on this roller coaster of emotion. There was this mixture of sadness and anger in it. But it was very good. The topic of death and the evillnes of war is kinda played. Although that might not have been your intended point thats what I took away from it. Thank you for the experience!!!

varentao 08-10-03 09:55 AM

Smoothly dark. Taking one through the emotions and thoughts of yourself through your eyes.

In an extreme way, depicting some of the wrongs of modern day world. More to the point, of modern day humanity.

Though at times you lightly trod. I thought the way you went with this piece, you could've dug much further and extensively. But nonetheless, what you did dig into, the general area, it was fucking good..

I enjoyed reading this. I nod my head at some of the things said. Also some of the subtlety used to concentrate on certain things also appreciated...

Ended very nicely. I looked at this with very little cynicism, making the ending even more effective.

..resp...

DiverseSyndicate 08-11-03 02:46 AM

tight piece,it was up and down but still tight,keep droppin.~1~

Tourniquet 08-12-03 11:02 AM

Thanks for the feedback peeps :)


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