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-   -   fucked up world! (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=72769)

Split-eyez 08-12-03 02:10 PM

fucked up world!
 
Looking through the iron clouds at this hypocritic world
shattered dreams are the remains of this fucked up earth
Opening my eyes to see that honesty doesn’t live here anymore
evil shown as on tv, makes me feel different than before.

my deepest emotions I do not longer hold in my head
standing up for justice and no longer keeping my mind dead

Today is the day that I stand up against everyone and everything
like Martin Luther King, I am now walking against the wind

There are no strangers in this world, only bastards I haven’t met
leaving children dying upon the blood which their parents have shed

This world upsets me so bad that I feel an eternal rage
time for everybody to stand up and rub the president’s shit back in his face

I hate this world from the bottom of my heart
love shall heal the governement which is earth’s biggest scar

Lend out a helping hand and be eachother’s guide
and help us wipe away this agony I feel inside

Split-eyez 08-12-03 02:11 PM

<<<<<<<<<< uppin.....
hit me up on this

peace

Uben. Sonned 08-12-03 02:16 PM

Re: fucked up world!
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Split-eyez
Looking through the iron clouds at this hypocritic world
shattered dreams are the remains of this fucked up earth
Opening my eyes to see that honesty doesn’t live here anymore
evil shown as on tv, makes me feel different than before.

my deepest emotions I do not longer hold in my head
standing up for justice and no longer keeping my mind dead

Today is the day that I stand up against everyone and everything
like Martin Luther King, I am now walking against the wind

There are no strangers in this world, only bastards I haven’t met
leaving children dying upon the blood which their parents have shed

This world upsets me so bad that I feel an eternal rage
time for everybody to stand up and rub the president’s shit back in his face

I hate this world from the bottom of my heart
love shall heal the governement which is earth’s biggest scar

Lend out a helping hand and be eachother’s guide
and help us wipe away this agony I feel inside



oooohhhh damn wow that was a good peice there was ragefull emotion(is ragefull even a word lol) this whole poem was greeta good wordplay flo and ryhimg was there the emoition like a said were id give this a 8/10 cause sum ryhim spots it was hard to tell if you was ryhmin no offense jus givin my critism
but still good peice much respect keep goin at it

Split-eyez 08-12-03 02:25 PM

^^^thanks for honest comments
much respected

Uben. Sonned 08-12-03 02:44 PM

dont mean to intrude on your thread but do u think u could peep my new poem no disrespect jus wonderin still again good job

Tourniquet 08-12-03 04:17 PM

Impact Piece..

'Looking through the iron clouds at this hypocritic world
shattered dreams are the remains of this fucked up earth
Opening my eyes to see that honesty doesn’t live here anymore
evil shown as on tv, makes me feel different than before.'

The strength in the opening really sets the show, lines up the rest of it... encaptured me - I had to read on..

'Lend out a helping hand and be eachother’s guide
and help us wipe away this agony I feel inside'

And I like how you have closed it with a hopeful message, even after reading your inner turmoil, your giving us a solution, yet still keeping it personal..

Nice Work~

Split-eyez 08-13-03 01:10 PM

^^thanks fo honest comments
peace

Split-eyez 08-13-03 01:15 PM

still uppin <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<


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