An Episode In Life Dying
 

plug it in...open my eyes and close them to the sight-
stimulate my mind-
illuminate my blind ....
side on cable via satellite-
in the background the news is happening hear them fight?

"mother why you crying?it hurts when you hold me so tight-"

i tune in the volume-while she popped the valumes-
to settle for a fictious life consumed-THIS IS MY ROOM-

"MAMI WHY DOES DADDY'S NOSE HAVE RESIDUE-"

PAPI was WWE-
mami the LIFETIME while i was ABC-

im eye witness news-
..............................reporting DAVID BROKAV...............
perceiving the believen bleeding through-first person view-

you were to beautiful to be misused-
i was to young to be confused-
OPRAH and MONTELL taught me what it ment to be abused-
but it came miscunscued-

maybe it was in my traits-
to constantly burst into tears when i saw drama flicks cause i could relate-
could it be because i was 8-
but beat with a mans hate in a boys fate-

"if this is how you love me then does that mean mami version is fake?"

and i indured this for atleast 5 years-
so before he awoke id watch the weather channel to see if they could predict my tears-

.....................TIME FOR SCHOOL................
stop bleeding-
daddys sorry remember your lunch and be happy atleast it wasnt RODNEY KINGS' beating-

SUNDAY MORNING lets watch the gospel on B.E.T as church-
but there is no way GOD can love me when it doesnt hurt-

all i know i owe to the one who taught me the lesson-
but i always had the square box as a blesson-

tune~ in ~with~ me-
to MARRIED WITH CHILDREN, THE SIMPSONS, or REAL LIFE TV-
but sadly just like my life each episode is either a rerun or cancelled eventually-

who's daddys lil boy?
who's daddys lil toy-
who's fathers punching bag when tyson lost and he was anoyed-
whe grew up in a void-
who was 10 at this stage the only man in his home and unemployed-

dont sit close to the magic box son you might go blind-
but i already have this is my best friend and to the outside world i pay no mind
-
there's to much violence on television-but thers more i invision-

so this is my life and i know i will take it away-one day-and that day-is when the cable bill isnt paid-let me just reast in peace the bed has already been maDE-

This is a cool piece....

It has elements of poetry within itself....

Im not sure as to how to rate text, but I think this piece is nice....

Uppin for better feedback for ya dogg....

Yeah, not a bad piece, hook was a bit of a let down 'illuminate my blind' just dosent work, try re-wording it a little. . concept was original actually, ive never seen it done before, flow was a little sketchy all the way through w/ the bar lengths keep changing, that sdtretched it in my opinion but the content was there, and it wasnt half-bad. It seemed to pick up a lot nearer the end of the piece and the repetion in the beginning of the sentences seemed to build up your emotion, not a bad piece my man, but just a little tip - drop the whole "Time For School" and stuff headers, they distract the reader from the piece a little.

All in all a decent drop though, made for a nice read in my opinion.
Reply to my piece: !

illuminate my blind
means bring light into darkness

the songs headers are adlibs
but thank you for replying

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