short freestyle
 

Guns knives livin in fear lifes a bitch
always scared runnin from all kinds of shit
dodgin bullets fightin your way through
lookin in the o-bituary, thinkin someday it could be you
put the guns down try to live in peace
get in a gun fight, realizing you put down your piece
gotta hurry, run for cover
screamin out i love you mother
get shot in the head now your dead
felt the heat from the hot lead
what a life you led
on the 9 o clock news teenager shot
all this cause you were sellin pot
drug deal gone bad now everyone's sad
everyone goes to your funeral, even you dad
lookin down on life, thinkin why it's so fucked
dude you got shot, bethca that sucked


uppin

quite violent there but thats coo..sometimes all i can think about is that when freestylin..'dodgin bullets fightin your way through
lookin in the o-bituary, thinkin someday it could be you' was pretty nice peace

thanks,
uppin for more replies

tight shit, i get kinda violent in my freestyles too lol, well a little more violent then yours, but thats besides the point, ill drop, keep postin

hit some of my open mics up plz

Yeah, this seemed to me like Necro's - Most Sadistic track where he just trys rhyming on a violent tip, flow was dope on this, just needed a little work on the internals and multi's, but as you said - it was a keystyle, so you cant really put it down.
Only thing id really change is add some coma's so the reader knows where to pause for a half-second like this:

Guns, knives, livin in fear, lifes a bitch
always scared runnin from all kinds of shit
dodgin bullets, fightin your way through...

Feel me?

Reply To Mine:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=72095

Was Nice For A Short Freestyle, |As ^peeps Have Said^ - Violent, But If It's Something You Experiance Then Can't Argue It...

Could've Used Some Work On The Flow (Multi's etc..), But It was O.k, Bars We're A Nice length...Vocab wasn;'t Really There But It Was Only A Freestyle so..meh..

Keep It Up, As I Said Flow Was a Little Weak..BUt The Topic Was Well Chosen.