~Rain~
 

As incandescent rays of light penetrate the frost bitten glass of my window I rise
My sky now cascades the brightest of blues from above me as I catch my reflection
Unfamiliar tears race each other along my sullen cheeks as I turn my gaze away
You left me here, no longer do your liquid fingers reach out to cleanse my pain
The rhythmic calmness of your voice still echoes clear in my mind and I grasp it
With urgency I close my eyes and breathe deep, perhaps your scent still lingers
But only the fragrance of freshly bloomed daises consoles me, do I cease to breathe?
I draw closed my blinds and again I find my bed, for this day I do not wish to begin
Let yesterday consume tomorrow so today shall never exist, bring forth the distant rolls
Let my night sky once again be illuminated with your presence as you sing to me a lullaby
Let me feel your touch against my naked skin as together we become consumed as one
Arms come to my side to comfort me, wrapping me in their embrace their words deafen me
“It was never meant to last, but never think you are alone, for one day you shall be reunited”
How could such disintegrating words hold such a solidified grasp on the remains of my heart?
I push away consolation in return welcoming forth the bitterly cold fingers of remorseful regret
The smiling faces that surround me sicken me, and I close my doors to the laughter of children
You told me to always turn to you in times of need, but where are you now I need you most?
Taken from me to suddenly, I cry for the last storm you brought forth on my request
And I pray that one day soon, my lord will return me to the rain he stole from me today

~Soul~

damn tight poem, but why are all poems have to be sad? cant you do summin happy 4 a change lol, nice drop ne wayz

This is poetry.

The emotions pure yet not so much that they slip right through.

The imagery powerful and evocative, vivid yet also with a certain subtelty.

The vocab varying and well used, keeping the reader, er... reading (heh).

The way you put it together, constructed if you would, done with a certain loose precision. So it is compressed, yet not not totally. Good effect.

The essence floated through the air providing a real atmosphere to the piece.

Oh, and welcome back Soultress..(!).

You've come back with a fine, fine piece of poetry. That's the way i felt best going about commenting on your piece. Though much more could and will be said.

...resp....

E.S.P soul lol....how are ya?

well written..ya never fell off...always got better forreal...
very descriptive..good imagery/vocab..thats poetry like v said..

“It was never meant to last, but never think you are alone, for one day you shall be reunited”

~true indeed~

I push away consolation in return welcoming forth the bitterly cold fingers of remorseful regret

~you dig deep into yourself in a way I wish I could~

The rhythmic calmness of your voice still echoes clear in my mind and I grasp it

~your just a good writer...I like the way you made this sound~


thats all..once again a great read and welcome back!

~Content~

*cosigns* this piece was just like liquid soul i was really feeling it, too many people try to do a piece on rain and dont do it justice but this piece was sublime, kudos, 1luv.

LoL yes E.S.P soul.....you have had a change
of name too I hope? :-/

Thankyou for the welcome backs and the feed back
I much appreciate both :)

Words do not do justice to the way this made me feel, I apologize for such a short response and promise to do better next time. This touched a deep part in me i have long been apart from. Sincere thanks for the emotional journey. 1

dats some ill poetry

Poetry indeed! Well put by Varentao! I applaued this piece, such a great use of imagery. Twist and turns all keeping the reader in suspense, wondering whats going to come next. I wanted to scan ahead, just to prepare for your next line. I am very impressed, this is the first piece I have had the pleasure of reading from you. Thank you for posting, I hope to read more of your work. Once again thank you for sharing your skills...

Much respect...

Shiznit's Thoughts:

As i was reading this...the scene from FRIENDS came across my mind where Joey and Chandler were having a fight Chandler was facing the window as the rain pouring down the glass and Joey did the same but yet in a funny way. (dont ask!)

Control over words combination inspired me on this piece. You've compiled and matched the words used perfectly. Terms used required guts and strength to be well expressed and youve made it easy at some point.

The structure of the whole poem gave the ideas implemented very well thought out. The emotions put in it were brilliant.

"Taken from me to suddenly, I cry for the last storm you brought forth on my request
And I pray that one day soon, my lord will return me to the rain he stole from me today"

^^The Ending gave the right direction for it. The fact that "rain" was used as a metaphor for something that uve lost made it stood out more. Brilliant. Nicely done.


-I admit that my addiction of Rain itself teased me to read this poem. ;) ;)-