Looks up crying
 

Sitting by the dark computer
Login, user, check pm’s… “loser”
Am I getting better?… “never’
This endeavor will never get better
Rap’s about fire, your just getting wetter
Fuck you all I do this cause Im loven it
"Dig deep for skills" nigga I'm shoveling
I need positive feedback to get up
"waste of time… shut the fuck up"
All I ask is for someone to point out what I did wrong
The bar was 2 long, play with words more
I know it doesn’t rhyme, fuck its not fair
I'm trying to get better, but it looks like you don’t care

You could start with your rhyme scheme...If you tried to spit this in audio the mic would multipy by two, transform into a crucifix and Nail you like jesus..I sense a bit of self-pitty from this..And a bit of "I need attention"..But i suppose everyone does..

If you have AIM or MSN i'll help you tho..Just drop the name...

i will battle any one of u

holla back

luda thanx for the feedback... back to topic

Likewise: thanx for the 2 cents... im NEW to this so im trying to find myself in every aspect of rap. I will agree this was kinda self pity/i need attention. Im happy you got that cause that means i was able to convey the message somewhat... thanx again

IM me: amatcha00

(didnt want to add another post)

what did u mean about the mic nailing me like jesus. Im guessing that means something bad but can you elaborate