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-   -   Lost FAiTh (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=74437)

prophiit 08-20-03 06:57 AM

Lost FAiTh
 
simplistic in my addictive pretension of apprehensive tension
born tortured within this sick and corrupt system
i hardly have a chance to word this verse
before i'm disturbed by nerves cursed to curse
as i angrily reply to criticism poignantly pointed with little wisdom
i search in the void of my soul at the edge of the cataclysm
not one for activism i prefer to activate the elevation
to bear forth the fruits of unlabored creation
this simulation bears meaning leaving seeming seeds screaming
like the pit of hell with tortured souls toppled and teeming
so this evening i sit and pen a message to the new messiah
with dark thoughts of immenent destruction full of lust and desire
mired in muck and mud my mind manages to mask many meanings
leaving me in a fog of lost thought and pain am i dreaming
to be unconquerable inside this unborn body
i lobby sobbing to be helped by somebody
but oddly a sense of relief engulfs my members
as i remember the timber of my mentors voice slowly as it simmers
"the loss of faith is the doorway the devil enters"

Tourniquet 08-20-03 11:51 AM

to be unconquerable inside this unborn body

I love this line.
Once again, I love your word play.. You have a great talent Profiit.

prophiit 08-21-03 11:45 PM

thank you i've been going through some stuff and i'm trying not to lose my faith.

Verbatim 08-22-03 12:31 AM

yeh this was deep
i felt it,
hang in there, and don't lose faith
keep droppin
peace

Content 08-22-03 03:41 PM

damn you scholly...this is not a dickriding settlement

flow...on point...
vocabulary...on point
imagery..on point....

ill just say..a page in the source would be nice wouldnt it
or XXL since the source is garbage...amazing talent my friend

mired means stuck right? I could be wrong....

well done and way to represent..'open micers' wouldnt get it..

la paz

prophiit 08-23-03 06:39 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Content
ill just say..a page in the source would be nice wouldnt it
or XXL since the source is garbage...amazing talent my friend

mired means stuck right? I could be wrong....

well done and way to represent..'open micers' wouldnt get it..

la paz


garbage makes the source look bad. ha. mired means stuck and open micers would probably say work on your flow structure it better the vocabs okay but whats the point? this is actually a song i'm working on i wanted to see how it was so far. thanks for the positive feedback maybe we are twins (seperated at birth of course).1

Split-eyez 08-23-03 11:55 AM

Wow amazing piece
magnificent wordplay, good flows, ... definitely something I'm really feeling.
Keep ya head up and keep dropping shit like this.

Peace


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