Freedom
 

Look At The Fire Beneath Your Bloodstained Feet
Running For Miles Without A Sign Of Defeat
Hearing The Dogs Roaring In The Distance Behind You
See The Lights Of The Masters That Have Come To Claim You
Smell The Stench Of The Cotton You Have Picked For a Decade
Think About Life Outside These Grounds, You Will Be Remade
Continue On Towards Freedom With Nothing Else On Your Mind
Knowing That With Every Breath You Leave Them Farther Behind
Upon The Horizon Stands Your Freedom and You Chance for Equality
Not Thinking About What You Will Get If Your Caught, A Penalty
With A Rush Of Breath You Reach The Hill Towards Freedom
Look Behind To See Nothing But Hell, You Have Your Freedom
Feel A Bullet Sever The Back Of Your Neck And You Fall, You Have Your Freedom


Well This Is My First Open Mic And It Is About A Boy Escaping From Slavery Into Freedom. Hopeing To Get To The City, Then Is Killed By The Poilce As He Reaches It. Still It Symbolizes That The Boy Is Free At Last.

boring.

do you think because you are rhyming , that it is a flow?

and you used the word 'freedom' 4 times in a row

This Really Hurts Comeing From Someone Like You. You Really Need To Learn That Rapping And Flow Are An Art Fourm Just As Much As They Are A Natural Talent. Fucken Noobs Like You Piss Me Off.

it occurs to me that this forum is for posting rhymes and getting feed back.

yo rhymes are rudimentary at best. thats my honest opinion.
now tell me whats wrong with that?

There Is Nothing Wrong With That. You Posted Feedback And I posted Feedback To You, You Are The One That Is Saying It's Wrong.

Shut the fuck up...U whack bitch , anyways this piece was Hot , U had tight wordplay and multies , The content was Hot......It had a Nice flow too it.....Ur rhyme Scheme was aight....But next time , dont make the same word rhyme twice......For example u used Freedom at da end of ur lines 3 times..That was really weak....Next time dont do dat..............But u got talent dawg , I am looking forward too read more open mics from u......Nice shit dawg

Thanks A Lot. I Thought That Reapeating Some Of The Lines Would Give It A More Dramatic Effect. I Won't Do That Anymore Then. Thanks For The Support Bash.

tight piece...nice wordplay, metas, and your flow was on-point...keep doing the open mic shit...

This was a cool piece the only thing that was wrong with this piece is that you used freedom to many times but other then that this was a good piece nice job mang 1..

"whack bitch"--bash

that was highly creative*

Yeah I was feelin it. It sounded more like a piece of poetry but there's nothin wrong with that. Peace!