circles
 

Circles

As my pen drys out i draw circles again
stormin in my head what to jolt down with this pen
everything has been done over and over anew
how to make myself behold pristine
how to start a new trend
what do i crave to push exterior
theres so much lingering inside
but it all seems concealed
stays out of reach in the endorse of my mind
but all becomes evident when the ink is all dry
i strive to take everything in with my own eyes
eternally switching my left and my right
smelling
feeling
becoming the walls or the pictures
analyzing things in their eyes
to take in my situations froms anothers impression
from one who cant do anything to relive
just sit there and watch as one suffers
not being able to give their brilliant advice
to let a friend gradualy slip out of their life
surley their things are coming to a halt
why cant they see this
or do they like to pretend
that its not really happening
that its all make belive
or they contemplate
they'll wake up from some dream
you too wish it wasnt real
but you know better
plus you can feel
that this time it is genuine
but how do you tell them
what words do you use
to make it look like no big deal
so once again
i find myself drawing circles
stormin in my head what to jolt down with this pen...

Shiznit's Thoughts:

2 words. "The Ring" ;) ;)

Well it seems to me that the message youve expressed from this piece was a very typical one.

There comes in a writer's life that you cant actually think of anything to write and you start doodlin. Ideas in your mind are being compress and couldnt support just one thing but instead its targetting all of the ideas so your brain depicted one way or another.

The reality there is, i mean based on experience, i sometimes actually realize that there are so much to write about in this world. Just by looking to a certain thing or person. Well in my case, when i dont write i sketch..and believe me i always start with shapes especially circles.

Come to think of it. Sketching a face or a certain objects contains shapes and they are mostly circular type ones.

You've done a piece where you can actually pinpoint the feelings you have especially your passion. Words chosen were basic but yet gave a lot of information to support everything as a whole.

Its worth reading it.

thx shiznit keep uppin

nice work little iirie but keep uppin~1~

yeah i saw that flick and this piece is not too dissimilar from it. the best way to alleviate writers block is to write about it and you managed to blast out of it with a unique piece full of meaning and bright thought. 1

thx all

uppin

Hey Filed, very nice work. I really liked

becoming the walls or the pictures
analyzing things in their eyes
to take in my situations froms anothers impression
from one who cant do anything to relive
just sit there and watch as one suffers
not being able to give their brilliant advice
to let a friend gradualy slip out of their life
surley their things are coming to a halt
why cant they see this
or do they like to pretend
that its not really happening

Thats my fav part of it. Post up some more I would really like to read more.

Hmmm...

Searching through the eternity of a circle...

You put on display some very evoking and gritty imagery. Gritty in the writer sense.

Bringing forth an essence which allows the piece to be easily relatable in varied ways. Yet still, not all that accessible. You have to dig each time. To get a true feeling of the piece.

Though i also felt at times it was akward. Over elaborating in some parts. Though the overall feel of the piece covered it up nicely. Overall, it was a very good read. If you wrote this whilst in writers block, though i can see certain hints that show you did. Overall, it was well written.

(really liked the circle thing...especially how you started and ended it..executed very nicely..)...


...resp...

thx all for the relpys

this here i actually only started when i had writers block, and when i was new to this, i found the first 7 lines in an old book of mine, then i decided to fix it up and keep it going

also the whole circle thing, ending and starting the same wasnt planned at all till i relised that the start worked for the end too


~Tera~
DONT HATE

just sit there and watch as one suffers
not being able to give their brilliant advice
to let a friend gradualy slip out of their life

that was definitely my fav part. I understand the topic, when you just wonna write but on the other hand you just can't... and eventually you come out with some dope shit, just like this.
very much respected

peace

Hmpf.... basicly what everyone else said. Especially what DeadlyAlliance just said. Man, that guy has such a way with words I swear he's going to be the next Shakespear. (Um... sorry, Sarcasm flavored Hatorade is my favorite.)

But on the real. I liked this peice because I've done it before. Have writers block and just play around with what I've scribbled until something good comes out. When it's done right, it can be fun more than anything else.

I get the feeling you could've kept writing your peice forever assuming it went in circles and circles. Heh...

~Shalom~