A song called "Ill Shit" Its kind of a diss towards this nigga i know.
 

::music intro::

Uh oh....

Whats this....

Its comin....

Tha Judgement....

::verse::
I dont play when it comes
to gettin that mo-nay
Fuck around and bitch u
gon meet my a.k.
Wanted DOA got this
rap shit on lock
We put holes in u then come
and straight front on ur block
What tha fuck u gonna do
about this here nigga?
Besides hold a gun up
and not pull tha trigga
Raw gangsta ass nigga
right up in ur face
U betta calm down bitch
and know ur fuckin place
Because Im... not tha one
that u wanna be testin
Cause I send u on ur way
witout a fuckin blessin
Right besides ya fam
In tha big ass caddy
He told u not to push
U shouldve listened to daddy
See now ur goin to
ur fuckin burial
And tha graveyard is not ur
type-of-material
So we gonna take it back
to ur first time sellin
U looked so tensed
U know u wasnt jellin
I got niggaz to come
and spray ur ass down
Until there's nothin left
but ur blood on-da-ground
When we rode pass ur ass
U thought I was joke
Until I told u Ima
give ur girl a poke
So u pulled out ur heat
and u started blazin
Ur in too deep now
An there's no phazin
Now u hide out wit ur
whole fucked up crew
We came to ur hood
we drove straight through
cause I knew u bitches didnt
have enough heart
To come out ya hut and
shoot us from tha start
U know me... Im on tha
mic sayin my ill spit
Now this is tha end
of my ill shit...

Yea nigga.....

Fuck y'all wanna do...

Its over and done wit...

Come fuck wit me now...

I'll put a whole clip in ya
ass....

I wanna see u walk away
from that...

244...

You know who u are bitch...

::music fades::

Uppin....

Um............This was kinda weak...

lemme give you some advice

re-structure your verses...Try and make it rhyme...try ad use words bigger than 5 letters...

Get that stuff done then you'll atleast be able to rhyme an open mic...

Wanna see some ill shit..peep my verse... Po-Session

oNe

thanx for tha feedback. still uppin.

i gotta disagree wit pot1ent, no beef or nutin, but i felt like it was aight cause it was a song, most songs in tha industry aren't like battlez u see on the cpu or anything, look at where jay-z is and his rapz r simple, but i do think if u put more work in it it would be betta

^true, but if you want to get recognition here, might as well come harder than that...
and yeah , the structure makes it a little hard to find the rhyme...
It was aight though... keep working on it man...
-1-