First open mic
 

Ridin stoned with my head back, me n drew the hottest Mcs you eva knew,
Count em 1-2, Smoke blunts and pimp hoes is all we do,
Bringin flow to tha show, tilt my hat, lookin where da beer at,
Bitches wit big curves the only way i go, dont need a hoe thas flat,
Jus tryin to stack the cash, come fronten you might get bashed, only 1 man who knows my stash,
He locked in a coffin, so now im stackin double figas often, 24’s flossin cash,
Taken you to school, on the court or in a dule, youll be made to look like a fool,
Sittin back, faded off hydro, You not processing this off setting so remember the golden rule,
Im meaner than the streets of Harlem, Sittin down on top the city,
The only way to survive is to be sly n whitty,
Government can kiss the grass, paying taxes, not in my vicinity,
Blowin hydro from my lungs, turnin black as night, more lethal wit the mic than p diddy,
Heart colder than below zero, When i drop the pound some cats say im there hero,
Dirty dozen, fucked my fly cuzzin, should of known that i was buzz-in,
Cop pulled me over for chuffin some of the blue berry nugs, krystal in my hand guzz-lin,
Everyone lookin for the savior, and now that man has spoken,
Hot boxed so high that half da block is chokin,
Was built to exceed this game, put every MC’s name to shame, things wont ever be the same,
Better remember this name, All my girls marked so peeps now how i do my thing,
Not too big but i pack a punch to break ya jaw, beat ya ass till its raw, Gunna need some screws plus theres more bad news,
Goin to fast so they call me the Lyrical Mask, cause im gone before you gasp,
Words knock you down within my vision, Ill split your verse into the hurse,
Put fags on a never ending loosing streak like you was hit wit a ‘curse’,
Ima keep risin like smoke from a gun, I'm hotter than the sun, Straight mackin like Big-Pun, Bust a nut if she's Steril,
Ima spit death so quick itll be like hearing the last shot from my Barrel.

Played and Basic.................not to mention fake. You showed some signs of talent, don't get me wrong just stop fronting and be yourself. For example.............

He locked in a coffin, so now im stackin double figas often, 24’s flossin cash,
Taken you to school, on the court or in a dule, youll be made to look like a fool,----this is a figment of your imagination, I know this because you were trying to hard, ease up.

Blowin hydro from my lungs, turnin black as night, more lethal wit the mic than p diddy,----this here isn't hard to do, be nicer on a mic than P-diddy that is.

Im meaner than the streets of Harlem, Sittin down on top the city,
The only way to survive is to be sly n whitty,
Government can kiss the grass, paying taxes, not in my vicinity,----so that I'm not completely down on you.....this right here was tight good vocab nice flow didn't sound forced well constructed and all.


Overall I'd say elevate, the way you can do that is be yourself, no one likes an internet thug or a studio gangsta. If you don't believe me look at Ja Rule.......I'm not comparing the two of you, I'm just saying be yourself and don't force it so much. 1

decent for your style you attacking you did good but branch out of this twin then only you can elivate

I wasn't feeling it man, for real... thas an opinion...
it ain't garbage or nothing... but I couldn't find interest...
shit got me tired after the first few lines... but I kept at it... read the whole thing...
like my man said, this is pretty basic... the rhymes were mad simple... I didn't see no rhythm, you need to work on that flow...
and yo, I think this was your worst line "more lethal wit the mic than p diddy" what! lol... ah man... but check it, I ain't hatin', just telling you what I thought about the verse...

Peace

thnx for the feedback even tho u didnt like my shit.. i was jus spittin some shit didnt really care if it made sense.. still sorta a newbie