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-   -   A newbee reppin freestyle "Don't Sleep" ya might catch it! (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=76213)

eatyastyle 08-27-03 04:53 PM

A newbee reppin freestyle "Don't Sleep" ya might catch it!
 
Look dog battle me a be a waste of time
first of I spit key rhymes while you struggle wit dimes
may be a newbe but test dont try it
I'll make you my bitch in a war beat you
man domestic violence
I mean I was there when ya style was invented
ya barely didn't make it cuz ya ma tried to spit it
get it, she held the cum ya dumb dumb
don't feel bad dog compared to her ya only half as dumb
I fall short of age 30 but this a grown man pimpin
ya rhymes kinda wordy ya just lackin the feelin
try one thing for me neva mention guns cars or jewelry
now ya stuck like "well, shit what Imma say"
ya no imagination, I'm impatient, non violent
but some cats damn near making me
break out the whole playbook bout 10 on the richter
way I leave dude shook, punk halfway crooks
I'll sip rum out ya mean mugs
C' walking but thowin up blood
yall just confused thugs.

WORD~PERFECT 08-27-03 05:12 PM

twin this isnt bad but you need to build a lil you got style and bars that could have been raw unfortunetly your delivery lacked and the meanings didnt impact as hard as they could.
keep elivaten i think you got what it takes to do alot on here

eatyastyle 08-27-03 08:21 PM

appreciate the feedback cuz

Nate Gz 12-05-03 07:41 PM

look at this dude wakes up and lets out a yawn his ass is like a t.v a five year old can turn him on he's a puse he can barely mow the lawn this dudes still young he aint gotta handle i heard better flows on the disney channel this dudes flows make him sound like he's 9 i broke his neck back and his spine oh yeah and i broke both his legs now his ass walks like he walks on pegs he should know by now dont fuck with me cause right now hes dealin with Nate Gz and if you like my flows look me up and if you got some ho's yo ass gona hook me up look this dudes probible older than me well im white, and im 13

Menik 12-05-03 07:47 PM

You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of peoples you left feedback in or this will get closed/deleted...

But this was ok....your structure needs some touching up though man, you have some short lines and longer lines so try to make those around the same length so its structured decent....flow was ok as well..but add some multies and internals to help it out...but just elevate and keep at it.

Edicius 12-05-03 08:15 PM

Up vocab , structure was ok on some points, flow was off tho couldnt catch it some times, ..

Leave, links/names to 3 open mics u replyed to else this will be deleted..

Nate Gz 12-06-03 12:28 AM

hi my name is nate gz take it from me pimpin aint easy i pimp a lotta bitches ho's to dont fuck with me or ill fuck up you

DªÖ 12-06-03 03:10 AM

this isnt a red carpet kind of thread.
go get banned please.


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