Through the Fog
 

...::Vacation::...
It was supposed to be an escape a vacation, another wayward trip
Heading back to America, made him feel kind of sick
The things that he had experienced felt so sureal
Back to the same old same old, but he knew how to deal


...::The Voyage::...
As he looked out from the deck, it truly was majestic
Sun setting and all, he started feeling festive
His old swagger coming back, and away went depression
But in came the cold, which would soon make a lasting impression
So he gathered his best clothes, and got ready for the night
Not knowing he'd be the tale, of which inspired so much fright

SS verse, I got no showed, and I'm looking for response.

...::And In The Dead Of Night::...
So the sun set, and our valiant hero, strode out on the deck
Tipping his hat and being cheerful to all the ladies that he met
Not expecting much, just awknowledgement, or a simple "Hi"
And he kept it up for hours on end, as the hours kept going by
But the fog came in, and visibilty left, like the sun who leads in the moon
Drama would strike this ships halls, it was all a matter of how soon
And then it hit, out of nowhere, a cataclysmic surprise
For some it meant nothing at all, for others it meant that they would die

...::The Struggle::...
As the boat went in, Jerry went out, to try and save his life
Thinking about his family back home, his kids, and then his wife
And he grabbed a piece of wood, from the ships ever so rising brink
And right before his eyes the impossible happened, The Titanic began to sink

...::Reflection::...
Jerry never lived to tell his tale, he was one of the so many lost
Because idiots fell asleep as the shipped drifted through the fog

tight man real tight...and deep bro...keep it up..holla..one

Sorry about not posting a long reply here, bit busy..

I thought the rhyming scheme here was pretty basic, you basically just had:
............... ............... .................. XXXXXX
........... .... ............... ................. XXXXXX

Where as you could've used some internals.

......... XXXXX ........ ............. XXXXX
XXXXX ........ XXXXX ........ ......... XXXXX

Would've helped the flow.

You had good vision though, looks like the content was well thought through, nicely played with the seperate sections. Had a good image of the topic as well.

The ending was good, having it based on real life always helps us relate to it..props...

Overall: 7/10

This Piece was sick man...Nice story Tellin.........Like Rhythmic said , The Content was nice , ur rhyme scheme shined in this piece...................Ur multies were aight........Vocab was Aight....U stayed on topic and never fell off
Overall: 8/10