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Fuck You
For all the times you spat on me, Fuck You
For all the lies, you backstabbed me, Fuck you For the torment my soul went through, Fuck You For the hell I saw only to lose, Fuck you For the lack of truth, in those lying eyes, Fuck You For the strength of my feelings, that I realise, Fuck You For the questions why, questions alone, Fuck You For the lack of answers, stolen throne, Fuck You For my crestfallen mind, my precious beliefs, Fuck you For my state, and my fallen sanity, Fuck You For my emotions which are my virtue, Fuck You For stepping on my vices, not seeing who, Fuck You For all I put in that was dropped, Fuck You For everything I do that's not loved, Fuck You For my anger, my sensitivity, Fuck You For my love, versatility, Fuck You For being who I am, Fuck You For seeing who you are, Fuck You I Hate You, I Hate You, Fuck You And I hate you more for knowing why...I Love You |
I really seen that ending before I got to it....
But still...I enjoyed it... I really can't find any faults in this piece.... It was hard hitting, deep and very impacting Only suggestion I could have made was perhaps have the "fuck you" on every bar instead of every line... But iunno... apart from that..this was perfect.. |
I jus wanna clear up that the obvious ending had to be obvious, and that's where the anger comes from, the fact that I can't escape the blatantness...
Concerning the 'fuck you' you're right, but I felt I had to spit it out at every free moment from surging emotions... Hasn't anyone ever felt like just screaming out fuck you a hundred times? Nah, i'm just insane ;) Appreciate the view, lookin' for more... |
this was aiight...but ive done this before...so i dont really know what to say...i wanna call you a biter...but you didnt know...you portreyed ya emotion in a coo conventional way....
igido |
Where? Let me see yours, drop a link, or sumthin', if it's been done I could remove it.....sorry, I didn't know, but people like Shiznit, Varentao and Bouncedoggydog know I'd never bite, especially not in poetry, I'm talented ;)
Ya want this removed? It was just anger |
you may or may not know of RB crashing numerous times...so ma poem isnt in the archives...but lives on still on RN...its quite old.....heres tha link...peep aiight...
http://forums.rapnetwork.com/showth...=&threadid=1682 peep...acknowledge... igido |
leave ya poem though... its not that big an issue...i kinda like this
igido |
No dont remove it. Its good.
Unfortunately, you have already said what I was going to say after reading the piece.. This is just pure anger.. Yet, it's still a love poem.. a paradox really well done. Flow was great, the rhyming was subtle and not forced, it wasnt over worked.. And yes, I know Ive felt at times so angry and frustrated that Ive wanted to just yell out Fuck You to the the sky, the World, the people around me, everything. |
Thanks to tourniquet for having an inexplicable link wit me, always understands...
It's all diff except the Fuck you, but the fact I put it on the other side looks suspicious, that's not really fair, even if I didn't know, your idea, your anger...my apology... Someone close this, if punishment is needed so be it, I relieved my anger anyway...and this is about new idea's and experiences, sorry madd... Close it |
lol...deciet....you are very humble in a manner of which i accept....you do the thug thizzle....this thread will stay open...and your poetry will be read by the many of other young poet who need elevation....
there are only a select few who's poetry is actually tools of elevation mine included....you are one of the acceptional poets that is apart of the 'league of poet elevation'... igido |
I like him ;)
Thanks, dog, and do I detect some ego? Remember, I'm 15, I have a teenager's temperament!!!!!!!! Anymore feedback, idea's or input??? |
I THOUGHT IT WAS THE GAYEST THING I EVER READ
NOT IT WAS COOL I ENJOYED AND IT WAS EASY TO READ I LIKED READIN IT I DIDNT GET BORED AT ALL |
Ya almost had me, thanks, anything more???
|
The reoccuring Atmosphere Fuck You Lucy theme
just reworded for your satisfaction...you dont seem like someone who woud do this on purpose but Eternal~Evidence just reworded the 'superman' lyrics for six lines so it all just carried over to this.. you didnt copy..I liked it* this was hard hitting and goes as a shot for closeminded assholes...phony friends... relationships...anything that annoys seperated from what you would rather deal with no matter what... 'all from a simple fuck you' not bad by any means..well done la paz |
aight I felt this... I could feel your anger and emotions whilst reading it. It kept my interest, so it was a nice read overall. Lil played out, but no beef. Liked the shit.
Keep dropping peace |
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