verse to a new song of my crews
 

this is 4 a song by me and controversy and we r goin to record soon tell me what u think

what goes up must come down
atleast thats what some scentest found
but guess what im never commin down
im gonna stay on top
u'll never make me stop
i will never be arrested by them pigs most call cops
im gonna stay in the rap game
and steall all of ems fame
cuz im gonna be the next rapper bein white
because of this great shit i recite
u better realize most i say aint polite
u got a problem come hear what u need an invite
ur only gonna be the next outline at a murder site
after they take u from that location
and give u the examination
from head to foundation
im sitten her in a huge celebration
chillen with my boys and eatin some cake
ur 6 feet under bein tromatized by a 6 foot snake

yeah um.. rate

can i have replys by the end of the night me and my bud need to make cuts tonight to see what we wanna put on our cd so please rate 1-10

come on no replys this sux.

well............vocab needs work
flow was alright
wordplay could be better

what exacly whould u ways wrong wih my vocab.
and thanks 4 the input

um, you used common words,
use bigger words
i mean you got your point across and all
i just think it could be better with more describing words
get me?

ok, thanks for clearin that up. anyway thanks for the advice and i will surely use it in the future

u stole this from a 50 cent lyric..

what goes up must come down
atleast thats what some scentest found
but guess what im never commin down
im gonna stay on top
u'll never make me stop

u just added "At keast thats what some scentest found"

if i did i didnt intend to. what songs it from. i seriously didnt know and i listen to get rich or die tryin everyday

twin it sounds like guess who is back that bootleg style cd out in the stores.i believe you aint think to steel it but hey.......yo the song does lack a lil but that is depending on how you pattern to be for a club peace this will do but for a track to reach heads this will fall short.
you had some decent ass ideas but you troject it different isten to your favorite m.c. then read this see then if it meets your expectation im sure you will see ways to fix it and make it better....
stay up and do you

ok i think i am gonna make some changes to it. thanks for all the feedback. anymore

I thought it was a nice song...
Probably sounds much better on audio.
Vocab DOES need work though....Try to Up it..

You got your point across though...Nice work...Props...Good Luck with your Record...

Overall- 7/10

oh yeah....Hit up mine

Is this shit goin in a nursery ryhme? Its all nasty and no blow. For me it needs to be deeP but hella if u think u got a flow then stick wit it

thanks anymore replys. i am in the process of makin changes now